Archives du mot-clé gratitude

Naboulove’s 10 Powerful Words of healing

Never underestimate the healing power of words for they can destroy, motivate, nurture, create emotions . I have a big flaw , I have a tendency to say things I don’t always have to say & sometimes they hurt. Maturity & motherhood  has taught me that “No I am not always right” . sometimes my sons correct me. I realized that the way I say things to people can either motivate or depress, bring love or hate. And my mother never ever took us for granted as her kids, she never stops saying healing words to us ,repeating that I have to be polite with you as my kids … Reaching out to people when you think about them, expressing what you feel with words can change someone’s life or perspective at a given time. So when you think , say it as it has the power of healing a broken soul or a sad spirit.

1-I am Sorry, excuse  me… sometimes it’s not about being right or wrong, it’s just about wanting to be forgiven to heal scars & move on.

2-I forgive you , say it, think it, act accordingly. Remember forgiveness is freedom.

3-I love you, yes I do whether you are my child, my friend, my reader, my sister, someone who passed through in my life with a smile, & even sometimes tears & pain. But love is love.

4-Thank you FOR what you did for me, thank you for the pain for it taught me a lesson , thank you  God for the gift of life, health & love, thank you for  you are a blessing in my life. Did you tell those who deserved to be thanked your gratitude?

5-Please? Because nothing is by force, you are not to dictate anything to anybody, not even to people you pay.

6-How are you? Because I care for you & when we separate I will tell you to Take care … Feel  how much you are important in my life.

7-Be blessed, is a prayer sent  to the Almighty … As said in the Quran “Your actions will be judged according to your intentions”…

8-I miss you… Oh yes I do. Why pretend you don’t…

9-How can I help you? You know some people need you but won’t ask so anticipate…

10-Congratulations Well done–  The more of us do well , accomplish positive things & succeed  & the more we will move forward collectively as a community of people. So be happy for your people, the world will smile at you

It is said that “Actions speak louder than words” so make sure you heal through words & follow up with deeds.

Words of healing convey respect , send love, express gratitude.

Thank you for reading , be blessed & take care

“Be empowered because you are powerful”


Naboulove Golden Rules of Friendship

Life indeed is a sum of interactions with various people , family, co-workers, friends, acquaintances, people we meet for a second or those we spend a lifetime with as well as those we have never met but have such an influence on our lives. Harmonious living ( I reckon, a total utopia) demands a lot of efforts & the people who lift us, carry us , without being necessarily family members are our friends. A cousin is family but doesn’t have to be your friend. The beauty of friendship lies in the free choice, the natural attraction & genuine togetherness. Some tell me I have too many friends, but is there anything as too many when it comes to giving & taking love, attention , on a free basis. I tried to scrutinize my various friendships throughout my life path & it taught me a lot about myself. These are the rules I either wished some people had used with me or even that I could have made use of myself with some people I might have disappointed somehow ( striving for perfection in a not-so-perfect world is one of the greatest phobia of human beings).

1-    Love : not the kind of family love but one that transcends blood & sex. That feeling you have for another who just brings out the best in you & also seems to be always there for you emotionally. Just because you crossed each other’s path. I am sorry some people are unworthy of it but I wonder why I keep insisting …

2-    Care : yes friends care about each other & show it: how are you? I missed you. How are you coping? Family assumes you care, but friends need to know you do in facts. Guys I love you all but I am an emotional mess sometimes…

3-    Appreciation, it’s not about being flattery or fake but whenever you think “ wall Done Zahra” voice it up so she can enjoy it. There is nothing wrong with appreciating your friend’s dress, beauty or achievements. Genuinely. It kills envy & it’s always rewarding to be friend with good people. To be used moderately between men & women sometimes –depending on the level of exposure of the Lady or man in front of you-… My friends are brilliant & beautiful –Masha Allah & I am proud to have them in my life.

4-    Gratitude: stay with you when you are heartbroken, listen to your broken record failed love story, lend you some money, keep your kids  when you are away, call your mother to check on her,… so many little gestures a friend does for us. And sometimes we just take it for granted or we procrastinate the gratitude moment & we appear ungrateful –I am guilty of that one-; Forgive me Pat I will never forget what you did for me…

5-    Communicate clearly & this implies talking & listening to your friends. Some people want you to listen their problems without even having an ounce of compassion about your own stories. There is also the friend who always listens to your deepest secrets without ever sharing the slightest secret with you. There must be a balance in communication. Like everything else it is not easy to achieve but some friends are worth the effort.

6-    The One to One principle: if you love groups of girls “Sex & the City” style or “Desperate Housewife” type, be careful, it is not always as glamourous in real life & the risks are gossip, backbiting, imbalance, etc. And it is not everybody that likes mixing up with half of the planet.. And rememberin case of group friendship, never talk about those who are not around if you know you won’t feel brave enough  face to face. So you either STFUP (shut the F… up) or you take a stand. Capisci?

7-    Straightforwardness is key . If you are lucky enough to be diplomatic use & abuse of it. If like me you just say it as it is, make sure you will be able to deal with it is your turn. But don’t compromise with the truth. If the dress is ugly, the hair color, even though trendy makes your friend look like a monster, or she has given up on her weight management issues. Tell your friend. If you care.

8-    The art of sharing or how to give & receive without expecting the same. My mistake was often to say : “ after all I have done for so & so…” wrong approach madam Nabou! You did it because it was your friend & you were happy to do it then. It was not a deposit at the bank you expect to retrieve some day. Karma is awesome & anything good you do sincerely comes back to you either way. Also if a friend decides to spoil you with a present , it is just because they care & love you & want to make you happy as simple as that: no hidden agenda. If it’s not the case review your list of friends asap. A big sister’s advice.

9-    Reciprocate : Ok it’s not because friendship is free that you are not obliged to reciprocate in a way or another. Don’t be nacissico-selfish & learn to reciprocate & it is not only about gifts & goods.

10- Law of silence is most definitely the hardest for us women to respect. We have big mouth we love exchanging gist.  But a friends’ secret is NOT a gist. In no way.  Also be  discreet about what you report to a friend about another friends’ discussion with you. JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. You don’t have to tell your mother, your sisters & brothers or your Man or Woman. It is between the 2 of you. Then keep it that way. Unless your friend is addicted to Cocaine or has been raped or is planning to commit a crime or suicide…Only in case of life threatening EMERGENCY.

11- Acceptance: since I discovered that nobody’s perfect , it has change my world. Everybody didn’t have your background, education or parents so if you decide to be friend with someone accept his or her flaws. I hate people who misspell French & I used to be horrified by them until I got the greatest advices from someone who knew little French but with great wisdom. I have all sorts of friends (my sisters & my mum can testify to that) just because I learnt to accept that if someone is a gossip I don’t have to share a secret with her. Or if someone is sensitive about some issues , I will be careful. Acceptance is about character management. If a friend doesn’t reply to your mail or a phone call , in fact it’s not because he/she doesn’t care…so give the benefit of the doubts to your people.

12- Tolerance IMPLIES a lot more than acceptance since you have to try to be non judgmental: your friend is getting married to a womanizer, or becoming the 3rd wife of a bad boy, or she made the wrong choices & comes to you for a supportive ear and all she gets is : “I told you”. Once again this is life, not Alice in Wonderland. We all have our fair share of mistakes & bad choices.

13- Reliability: “lean on me it won’t be long til am gonna need somebody to lean on” … I love that song because it says it all. So be a supportive, & reliable friend try as much as you can to do what you say. Be there through thick & thin.

14- Forgive me please. I lied . You lied. I forgot your birthday. I told your secret (innocently done only forgivable though), I criticized your husband or wife, etc. etc. FORGIVENESS of friends’ minor sins will only make your bond stronger.

15- Respect each other’s limits. Even twins have their own lives (as a mother of twins I know what I am talking about ) . So don’t push too far, respect each other’s privacy, little secrets, silences & absence…
And I believe these simple rules (fruit of my own experience) should help us in our overall interactions with others.  Please forgive me I didn’t expect it to be so long.

“Be Empowered Because you are powerful”

2012 ©Naboulove

The Bite Of Envy

Ooh yesss you hate her for driving that Range Rover, you dislike her for carrying so carelessly her Hermes bag and wearing with so much elegance that diamond watch and the Chopard Jewelry set you always dreamt of. With your insane feminine curiosity, you are just wondering: Is she an escort sleeping with half of the government, did she inherit or is she just a hard working lucky bitch? you don’t want to really know what the truth is, isn’t it?  Curiously, the only thing you want to  acknowledge is how her presence makes you feel invaluable, transparent, non existing, anyway, to make a long story short, you are simply  envious!  And honestly  you got it all wrong gal! this is not the way to go. Envy is hateful, painful , self destructive and useless. Can’t you feel it? Can’t you see u are hating for free because the sister has no time for negative vibes around her?
It is time for you to slap yourself in the face and admit that you are totally wrong? Discharge yourself from all that emotional poison and mind your own business. As a matter of fact if you have felt that way for even a second in presence of a glittery rich hot looking babe then you have serious personal issues to deal with;  Yes madam envious bitch, it is not about her or others but only about  you. Why do you project your insecurities or others? It is you I am talking to. You who always look and want  what   others possess but you never appreciate what you are blessed with. Yes Lady, You who always wishes for what others have but never realize how much you have.

You keep on complaining about everything not realizing that the only satisfied souls are those who are 6 feet under. Stop the self-hate and your self destruction process coz all you are badmouthing about are your own lacks and shortcomings. Ooh you didn’t realize it! If you minded your own business, you would be aware of it. It is so easy to close your eyes to your failures and dissect others’. Just for the sake of envy. Hell no! It is time for you to take control of your destiny by minding your own business. You won’t know their lives until you walk in their shoes. You won’t have what they have until you do what they did to have it so relax and live your own life.