Elle perle, brode, coupe avec une élégance, une finesse et une créativité de la même envergure que les petites main de la haute couture parisienne. Une étoffe de soie entrant dans l’atelier de Jour J se transforme en un boubou seyant aux finitions impeccables rehaussé du détail inventif qui constitue sa marque de fabrique :perle, broderie, fleur, volant, sequins, dentelles etc. Les Dakarois auront le plaisir samedi 1er Décembre d’admirer les dernières créations de la créatrice au cours de la nuit du boubou qui sera animée par les grandes divas du Sénégal. La tenue traditionnelle du Sénégal revisitée par Thiané en une véritable tenue de haute couture sera la star incontestée de cette soirée qui est certainement l’un des évènements Fashion les plus attendue de cette fin d’année. Naboulove fan inconditionnelle de Thiané lui souhaite une super soirée et est de tout cœur avec elle. Je suis fière de toi Thiané.
“At the end of the day, the questions we ask of ourselves determine the type of people that we will become.” ― Leo Babauta
Questions, questions, questions… we hate them when they come from others & we realize that we seldom ask them to ourselves. We are engaged into daily activities, claiming to be busy & so. But really, how many times do we sit back & have that little inner interview that could help us clarify things? Like now I am just in super procrastinating mood…And really I wonder why? Moreover I feel super duper happy just for no reason, so obviously am not procrastinating out of unhappiness but maybe the crazy side of my brain is more active than it should be. Some days are like that in my Nabouworld™. I guess I am not the only one… ANYWAY when I am in discomfort I ask to myself a few set of questions that are not so easy to answer. Yeah we actually lie more to ourselves than to others. FACT. However let me just share with you & the game is yours. It’s strange how simple questions are bound to generate complicating & complicated answers…
1-Am I happy?
It sounds simple right. SO answer .Yes OR No .
2-Why am I happy? Why am I not happy?
Reminds me of my philosophy classes in high school with over elaborated definition of happiness. LOL. Keep it simple. Just try & pinpoints the Why yes or Why not. Is it family, work, your health, social environment etc. Make it short , straight to the point. Self diagnose your issues.
3-What is my Life purpose?
Big word again for something that could be simply stated as what would you love doing to feel alive? It is personal & if it’s your kids, your kitchen, your home or any other thing that people could judge trivial & basic , it is your life, your choices, your goals . So forget about the outside world for now & just write it down. It can be the Nobel prize for peace too. Nothing is too small & nothing is too big as long as it makes you feel worthy of living…
4- What makes me happy, Really happy? Just think about every time you have felt happy , really happy. For me I know the day I gave birth to my twins was like the happiest moment in my life. I couldn’t believe I pushed two kids out of my body. It is an overwhelming unforgettable feeling of happiness. Something less grandiose eating crunchy nuts chocolate make me smile, laugh, frill of happiness. So list your moments of happiness & what caused them…
5-What would I do If I wasn’t afraid? Lawd me God! In my Jamaican creole voice… I would go to India , learn Ayurveda, then go to Bali with my kids. And also maybe I would write erotic fiction, really hot one & sign with my own name. I would maybe move to my village home, & write all the time. I would take my kids out of conventional school & find new ways of learning for them. I sound really mad… Just list it…
6-What are my greatest fears? Waouw not easy to really pinpoint them but mostly the fears in general are: lack of means, fear to lose a family member, fear of society’s judgment, fear of pain, fear of failure, fear of starting all over…etc. What stops us is in general fear of leaving our comfort zone. Do your own equation here mine is already giving me headaches.
7-Do I love myself? The famous Self love matter of the century. Most of the times I do, except when my clothes don’t fit me, when I make wrong choices consciously or unconsciously , when I feel like I didn’t do what I had to do when I had to… But I do enjoy & love being me with my flaws & stubbornness …
8-When did you last do something for your own pleasure? Now I am writing for my own pleasure, I am enjoying every bit of it…
9-Name 10 things I am grateful for? The good old uplifting gratitude list never lets down a low mood…I have over 100 things to be grateful for. Yeah ok I will list them eventually. Alhamdulillah (I thank Allah) for everything is my motto though.
10-what do I postpone every day? list 3 & just do them! Men I stopped eating chocolate, started exercising, so now I have few writings to finish I have been postponing shamelessly…
11-Am I myself or am I playing a part? It depends obviously, like everybody. My staff knows me as who I show them I am, and with my kids I am trying to be a responsible mother, I try as much as I can to act in alignment with my values but sometimes life situations just force you to compromise. Just trying not to sell my soul to the devil in the name of being “normal”…Challenging ? isn’t it?
12-How far would I go for love? As far as I can bear the pain maybe… even though it is supposed to only feel good. But we ought to be realistic here. Shit happens no matter how far you go & how hard you try…
13- My Weaknesses? List 5 points I would like to improve in my life right now: Eat even better, exercise even more, do more homework with the kids, be less stubborn, think more before I talk sometimes, be less sensitive over issues…Oops I listed 6…
14- Strengths, strengths… I am fearless, creative, generous, smiley, It would require a post in itself…LOOOOL.
16-Am I balanced in the way I relate & connect with others: friends, family, co-worker, etc.? Whenever I am in my emotional moods, I just run away in order to avoid imbalance in my behavior. Otherwise I try as much as I can to be fair & give as much as I receive & still do my best regardless of the selfishness level of the person facing me. Giving back for the times when I am the selfish one…
16-Write my first steps towards change & attempt to commit to them.
What should I do to look better, be healthier, be nicer, improve my skills, learn whatever has been in my mind forever? My plan is Doing-Learning-Improving-Practicing. What is yours?
P.S reminder to self
“An empowered life begins with serious personal questions about oneself. Those answers bare the seeds of success.” ― Steve Maraboli
Be empowered because you are powerful
The Power of a Smile
The power of a gun can kill
and the power of Fire can Burn;
The power of wind can chill
and the power of the mind can learn
The power of anger can rage
inside until it tears you apart
But the Power of a Smile
especially yours can heal a frozen heart.
“Your smile is the sexiest curve on your entire body” unknown
A smile is without any doubts the most powerful non verbal Communication tool between people. Even if you find yourself lost in Azerbaidjan, you should be able to sort your issues with a smile in the middle of your face –unless you wear a Burqa-. A customer care agent, a sales person , a waiter or waitress , a taxi driver , are judged more by the friendliness of their face than their actual compentencies. Before you judge the food , the technical work or even the quality of the goods, what drives you towards them is their smile. Yes we do judge the book by its cover in this case. A smile sends a positive message, conveys happiness & makes the scariest face approachable by enlightening the smiler’s face.
« It costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive, without impoverishing those who give. It happens in a flash and the memory of it sometimes lasts forever ». Dale Carnegie
It might sound trivial , basic & somewhat stupid but Smile has a magic effect over the receiver as well as the giver. Let’s see how it affects someone’s life when he/she decides to make the most of it. But here again a smile, must be genuine, heartfelt & positive in order to work wonders. Fake smiles will only worsen things so be real, be sincere.
- A silent but warm friendly welcome
- Beautifying treatment , it enlightens any dull face
- Problem solver for a smile can turn a life around by sending a positive signal in a conflict
- Cheaper than a shrink, smiling is a sign of self-confidence & success . It will make you feel good so in doubt or sadness fake it until you feel it
- Smiling means sharing happiness around, happy to be with people & interact with them
- It’s free …in case you forgot & it has a very high Return on investment
- Smile is a trust factor
- It is a charisma enhancer, as well as a positive Aura creator
- To smile is sexy & attractive … A sad face is unconsciously an ugly face…
10. Loving factor Mother Theresa says it better than me : “Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.”
So remember before drafting elaborate strategies about a change of life, make sure your smile quota is enough to affect powerfully & positively your destiny. Now smile & let the magic work in your life….
Lyrics of the song “Smile” by James Phillips and Geoffrey Parsons for Charlie Chaplin
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it’s breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
you’ll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You’ll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness Although a tear may be ever so near
That’s the time you must keep on trying
Smile what’s the use of crying
You’ll find that life is still worthwhile
If you’ll just Smile
Inspired by my Divalicious girls Kiki & Jamjam
So what is an emotional rape?
You are used, called when one is bored, re-used then redumped. You wipe tears, listen to heartbreaking stories of painful love issues (among others), support in times of sufferings & yet you are ignored or dumped in times of glory. How does it feel to be used & reused. Feeling like a tissue or a disposable item or even a sugar cane stick sucked til there is no more sugar in it. So this is it. That painful, useless feeling that only someone you thought loved you as a friend or sister did to you. Sometimes they are even your friend or your sister, cynically.
We humans are just soo human & sometimes so inhumans in our humanity. Raped because our emotions are penetrated , showing their deepest & genuine side. We care, sympathize sincerely, feel the pain, carry a friend’s burden, open our home doors with love & care , with trust & we agree to share one’s part of pain . We look for acts of soothing faith, take time to listen & advise, comfort & analyze. Acting half as a confessional , half as a confidant & often helping one regaining self confidence. Somehow your presence seems like a way to absolve the sin of who has been guilty of loving the wrong person or trusting who was not trustworthy. By showing empathy, we tend to become the mirror in which one sees himself as a forgivable being worthy of love. Our listening ears & lack of judgement towards our friends’ situation gives him/her a license to be not-so-perfect, leaving him/her burden less & free of being imperfect. Isn’t that called restoring a self esteem? But it hurts to just face silence or absence when we only expected a little care in return, even just a thankful attitude for the least. Instead of an arrogant self sufficient behavior until next time. Or sometimes a phony fake “ forgive me if I have done anything to you” if we make the mistake to complain. None of us being Angels , why not just accept the fact we misbehaved & just say : forgive me for acting so selfish. So how many times have you raped a friend emotionally ? And when were you last the victim of an emotional rape?
“Be empowered because you are powerful”
Exercise your unlimited power of choice
« Man’s power of choice enables him to think like an angel or a devil, a king or a slave. Whatever he chooses, mind will create and manifest » Frederick Bailes
Choice is a life defining factor, & a complex process hidden behind simplistic actions. As a matter of fact each decision made – generally consciously- affect our lives in a minor or major way. Each decisive questions’ answer is more like a verdict than a choice in a certain way. Our selection often determinates our future in life. Should I marry him even though I don’t really love him but I want a husband? Should I resign to accept that job offer? Should I stay or should I go when I am in an unhealthy relationship? Choice is the factor that guides us through life’s labyrinth & either gets us stuck in confusion or get out of it. The power of choice lies in accepting its consequences & adapt along the way. The professional choices I made have had a positive impact on my career & I don’t regret them. But they took me far away from my roots, my culture, my family , my friends. The nomadic lifestyle inherited from my genes has become “the story of my life. Now I am sure you must think: why don’t you go back? Because that decision itself needs a lot of reflection in my current life situation. And the process to make a decision about it is not soo simple. Am I ready to change country & start a life all over? Tough choice.
CHOOSING ACCORDING TO A PROCESS
What do I have here? What are my options? What would be the consequences? Not only for me but for my children & for the people who work for me? Am I ready to live with the consequences of my choice. Can I be selfish & only focus on the positive for myself , versus the negative ways it could affect people around me..Can I handle the negative regardless of the positive outcome. Somehow I can can delay the decision but sooner or later I will not be in a position to ignore & proceed. There is a common example in Afirca that I love taking, it’s that it is not often that Generals take over in military coup. Captains are more spontaneous, they act & then they think. And they do succeed in becoming Heads of States even if it’s for a short time. If they had spent time like me measuring pros & cons, they certainly would have never done it. LOL…
So in the process, intuition, might beat logic & logic might stop you from reaching your life purpose & final goal. So think wisely , but don’t put too much rhetoric & mathematics in the procedure. But listen to your instinct. That little voice inside of us is one of our more valuable asset. Other people’s advices can be interesting , depending who. Sometimes people who don’t know us can give us the best orientation because they talk with any prejudice. Anyway the final choice, the steps are yours to take, once you have integrated all data & digested them, the light “Eureka” will appear in front of you. Give a chance to the process, & exercise what psychologists & philosophers call your free will.
I’ve realized that being happy is a choice. You never want to rub anybody the wrong way or not be fun to be around, but you have to be happy. When I get logical and I don’t trust my instincts – Thats when I get in trouble. Angelina Jolie
Free WILL an abstract notion
I smile when I reread the previous sentence. Our free will being conditioned by so many exogenous factors : our education, our family background , our religion, our environment. But somehow the doers, those who contribute to the changes in the world, just follow their inner voice regardless of all the above cited. Galileo said that planet earth was round when all the scholars then cursed him as heretic. The plane, the great discoveries we find so natural resulted from the persistence of men & women who often defied logic to follow their intuition … Even though their work was based on scientific researches. So we sure have control over our will power but do we really have free will ?
“At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice”. Maya Angelou
UNLIMITED POWER OF CHOICES
As human beings, we are endowed with freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibility upon the shoulders of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is our responsibility. Arnold J. Toynbee
Few lessons were learnt or should I say gathered throughout my so eventful little life:
-No Choice is a choice.
-When destiny chose for me even if at first I was depressed it always ended up being a blessing in disguise.
– We live up with the consequences of our decision. And no matter what there are two points of view: It can be great to stay in bed but we shouldn’t be surprised if we can’t make ends meet. We made that choice. We can either decide to start or continue thinking about it…Between the idea & the reality , One step is action. Action resulting from a conscious choice.
-To see a glass of water half empty or half full is also up to us. So the lens through which we see life is up to us. Happiness is more a choice according to me. My personal opinion.
-Choice leverages change , it can be a short term or a long term one.
-There is a big difference between Action , Reaction & Status Quo.
-You can move with the flow or go solo, your power
-Beware of the seeds of your decision. The good or bad will vary from where it rooted: : love, anger ,fear ,frustration ,joy. Pleasure is not happiness . So YOUR CHOICE …
– The right or the wrong varies according to a point of view. Your point of view is what counts as long as it’s morally ethical. Sorry no free will when you want to commit unlawful act. Conscious rules. We are humans, we know what is right from what is wrong even though the wrong seems better for you.
– Action is not only involved when you choose but also thoughts, feelings , vibrations & energy shift. They are variables that will affect your options. So meditate, rflect & think about it without being obsessed. You might be surprised the Choice will just pop up in your head.
LIFE= SUM OF CHOICES
What is life now? Our parents choices, our habits – automated unconscious choices- . If my mum never sent me to UK & US –almost against my will- for English summer sessions when I was a teenager, would I have written in English? Not sure. If my kids were not born in US would they be US citizens? So my mum chose for me & I chose for my kids & my life & their lives will be affected somehow by these choices. However to own your choices , to master them, nurture them, endorse wisely their consequences creates a sense of responsibility . And we are powerful when we don’t let the past, circumstances, negative feelings or other people rob our right to chose regardless of the past.
Life is now stop waiting for that perfect moment that will never come to just do that choice. Always go for what you « want », and not what others « want » for you…Only you and not others will live with the it at the end of the day 🙂 And whatever your decision , There is always another choice… A word is enough for the wise.
“You’ve got the power”
“Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved”. William Jennings Bryan