Archives pour la catégorie What men want in a awoman…

Devenez la Maitresse de votre mari.

Il vous a choisi entre toutes pour partager sa vie pour le meilleur et pour le pire et devenir la mère de ses enfants. Alors arrêtez de jouer à la vierge effarouchée tout simplement parce que vous appartenez au club des épouses. Si j’écris , c’est parce qu’en discutant avec mes amies , sœurs, parentes mariées ,  il me semble qu’elles abandonnent le meilleur du temps de leur s époux à d’autres femmes. S’il vous plait , ne me dites pas qu’il vous tient la main en public alors qu’il vous touche à peine en privé. Vous avez tout faux , archi faux , vous êtes sa partenaire légitime et vous vous devez mutuellement des nuits endiablées et torrides. Arrêtez les bigoteries derrière lesquelles vous vous réfugiez , en passant vos nuits à l’église ou en essayant de remplacer un érudit Islamique. Il est permis d’être désinhibée avec son mari. Alors au lieu de geindre et de vous plaindre à propos de ses nombreuses copines et maitresses « fantômes » -souvent des accusations non fondées-  avec laquelle ou lesquelles il semble profiter de la vie, levez vous et #reprenezlepouvoir dans votre foyer.Chaque jour est une opportunité pour un nouveau départ, même après de longues années d’ennui . Il est l’homme de votre vie , le seul et l’unique , ne finissez pas aigrie ou en quête d’un amant  pour  vous combler (c’est un péché même si le Pasteur de votre église devient  votre amant ) . N’est-ce pas plus simple de mettre en œuvre le plan de devenir « la maitresse de votre mari ». Alors si vous êtes une “Desperate Housewife” d’Afrique, fantasmant de nuits d’amour chaudes et sensuelles, ces quelques idées vous permettront de marquer la différence dans l’intimité de votre chambre à coucher. Il est possible que votre époux soit un peu surpris au début ou un peu suspicieux mais accrochez vous, c’est VOTRE mari & comme vous êtes déjà la mère de ses enfants, il n’y a aucun mal à devenir une parfaite  maitresse et amante.

Bien sûr avec les aléas du quotidien, vous ne pourrez pas être sur le pied de guerre 24/24 mais je vous en conjure Mesdames , ne lui ouvrez pas la porte pour qu’il aille voir dehors si l’herbe est plus verte. C’est vous qui détenez le pouvoir : il rentre chaque jour à la maison, et il se doit de manger vos repas qu’il le veuille ou non. Alors ouvrez vos tiroirs et sortez tous vos dessous sexy, vos aphrosiaques, vos accessoires coquins et épices de femmes que vous gardiez en attendant “demain”. Le moment est arrivé. Alors Mme membre du Club des femmes mariées , donnez vous la possibilité de devenir une femme pleinement satisfaite sexuellement.

 

1-    Ce n’est pas parce qu’il votre époux devant Dieu et devant les hommes que vous devez le considérer comme un acquis. Rendez vous indispensable, soyez à son écoute, devenez son amie, son alliée, sa confidente; méritez sa confiance. Arrêtez un peu votre cinéma d’épouse emmerdeuse toujours à se plaindre et critiquer et laisser le partager librement ses pensées avec vous, sans stress, ni arrières pensées. Soyez son amante et sa muse intellectuelle. On ne se repose pas sur ses lauriers.

 

2-    Petit rappel: Il s’agit de plus que le partage d’un lit ou vivre sous le même et même exhiber une alliance avec fierté. Il s’agit de faire de ces moments d’intimité une somme d’instants mémorable de temps en temps (je suis consciente que cela ne sera pas tous les jours mais de temps en temps) la réalité, c’est quand vous lui rappelez les frais de scolarité et autres. Laissez un peu d’espace aux fantasmes et créer des moments d’exception pour votre homme . Je suis certaine que vous avez des idées mais que vous n’avez jamais osé , il est temps pour la phase de mise en œuvre…Si vous ne pouvez pas vous laisser aller avec l’homme dont vous partagez la vie, ne vous plaignez pas s’il ne vous touche que rarement … Jetez aux oubliettes tous les taboos africains représentant la femme «l’épouse » « moissi ya Ndako » comme une pseudo-sainte ..Au diable les clichés , vous avez aussi besoin de vous sentir désirée et cela ne sera possible que si vous maintenez un climat erotico-passionel entre vous…au boulot les dames.

 

3-    Le facteur surprise . Arrêtez de déblatérer sans fin sur vos déjeuner entre copines et de commérer sur la femme du voisin…Cultivez le mystère , soyez imprévisible, surprenante, et non pas toujours facile à déchiffrer comme un livre. Ayez un travail, une passion, une vie , existez en tant que femme hors du domicile conjugal. Donnez lui l’opportunité de pensez à vous, de lui manquer , afin qu’il puisse vous poser des questions.

 

4-    Vous aimez vos enfants inconditionnellement, n’est ce pas? Essayez de lui donner ce genre d’amour, sans bien sur vous transformer en carpette. Votre objectif est de reconquérir l’intimité et la connexion que vous partagiez. Avant. Apprenez à lui faire confiance. S’il ne vous aimez pas , il ne vous aurez pas épousé. Ne donnez pas l’occasion au premier idiot (ou à la première idiote) de venir critiquer le père de vos enfants. Vous lui devez confiance, intimité, discrétion et respect. Et quoiqu’il arrive hors des frontières de votre environnement familial , dont vous n’avez pas été témoin , ne vous regarde en rien tant que vous êtes une épouse respectée et choyée. Apprenez à relativiser.

 

5-    Evitez de mentionner nommément l’autre ou les autres femme- s’il y en a- avec aigreur et haine – C’est votre homme après tout. Soyez subtile, stratège, mure et faites lui plutôt ressentir ce qu’il rate en étant séduisante, attirante , sexy , douce et souriante quand il est avec vous. Si vous avez un message à faire passer , ne soyez pas agressive…COMMUNIQUEZ  le  n’attaquez pas .On n’attrape pas les mouches avec du vinaigre.

 

6-    La créativité/l’innovation sont cruciales, comme vous le savez les hommes ont constamment besoin d’être challengés afin de mettre leurs sens en émois, alors pas d’hésitation, : attachez le au lit , utilisez des menottes , des plumes, faites lui des massages etc. Amenez le à faire l’amour dans différentes pièces de la maison ou même dans la salle de bain. Sortez de la chambre en innovant et en initiant de nouveaux jeux entre vous… Sexter (sms coquins) lui un message sur vos dessous sexy pendant que vous diner en face en face au restaurant ou envoyer lui une image coquine de vous lorsqu’il est en voyage. Enterrez votre timidité. Osez lui décrire en quelques mots de façon explicite les projets que vous avez pour lui .. chéri, si je t’attrape, je vais te faire mourir de plaisir…

 

 

7-    Les préliminaires, la majorité des hommes apprécie les caresses buccales & je reste persuadée que de nombreux Africains se sentiraient plus libérés au lit avec leurs épouses si elle se montrait un peu plus liberée au lieu de jouer aux saintes Nitouches. La glace , le nutella, le miel, les glaçons, autant de choses disponibles pour épicer vos soirées . Et s’il vous plait je ne veux pas entendre « c’est pour les blancs ». Erreur fatale. Une fois de plus c’est votre homme, alors laisser vous allez et amusez vous.

 

8-    Escapade: Sortez de chez vous. Ne me dites pas qu’il n’y a pas d’hôtels dans votre ville? Vous n’avez pas besoin de sortir de la ville pour enflammer votre mariage du feu du désir. Un changement de décor peut se transformer en facteur d’excitation. Pourquoi ne pas le retrouver pour un after hour dans une chambre d’hôtel ? Ravivez le désir… Et dès que vous pouvez, un weekend en amoureux  hors de la ville peut vous aider à reconnecter émotionnellement avec votre moitié. Proposez lui

 

9-    Relooking . Toutes les fantaisies sont permis en présence exclusive de votre mari. Mais à bannir, le liputa et le t-shirt ainsi que la robe en pagne confortable. Non !Non ! Non ! Recycler vos mini robes pour vos diners ou soirées en tête à tête avec lui. Un peu de rouge à lèvres, une nouvelle coiffure, du vernis à ongles rouge, de la dentelle, de la soie…Soyez une femmes à multiples facettes exsudant le désir pour son homme , heureuse de lui faire plaisir et prête pour un feu d’artifice sexuel.

 

10- Eveil des 5 sens; j’ai tendance à me répéter mais je persiste et signe: il ne s’agit pas que de sexe, mais aussi titiller ses papilles gustatives, en cuisinant avec de nouvelles épices ou faites lui des cocktails spéciaux à boire, utilisez de nouvelles senteurs sur votre corps et aussi dans votre maison, offrez lui la vision d’une femme plus sensuelle , d’une maison propre, le toucher d’une peau soyeuse et écoutez des rythmes langoureux de rumba vintage à danser collé serré, de zouk, ou tout simplement les bons vieux classiques tels que Sexual Healing , I wanna sex you up-,Ayez un voix plus douce, posée et tranquille… & à vous de jouer.

 

 

Alors utilisez votre pouvoir , ne le laissez pas vous échapper juste parce que vous avez l’alliance. Soyez aux commandes, faites des efforts et devenez la maitresse de votre mari.

« Be empowered because you are powerful »

©Naboulove

12 ways to turn into your Husband’s best friend

You have reestablished  the sex drive between you & him. You are now the WIC (Wife in Charge) but please sister don’t brag , there is still a lot of work to be done. Bedroom is awesome, for now, but don’t relax yet. It’s like looking good ,you always have to work on some details that will make a big difference to the picture. Let’s do it. Being the “wife-mistress” is not enough. Your next challenge is turn into a “wife-mistress-best-friend”…  Since you are you married for better & worse, let’s work on having more better than worse. Are you ready?.  YES! NO? I can feel some doubting looks … Anyway I am not giving miracle recipes but just common sense life ideas. And if you want to enjoy the best of your husband, you have to work on yourself, your attitude, behavior & perception.  We are not in a Sweden kind of society & until further notice when things don’t go right, it’s better to go left than to complain… No be so? My Golden rules of friendship do apply but given the niche target (hubby) we need some little adaptations. So  ready? Set! Gooo!

“Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” Mother Theresa

1-Spend quality  time together doing things that you both enjoy: simple things are the best: talk about a book, watch a movie, eat together at the same time & the same day ( this may sound stupid but it is not as common as we could think). Focus on the quality of the time spent instead of complaining on the quantity  on the rare occasions you see him. Isn’t that what we do with our friends. Enjoy the now moment. Catching up from where we left it?

2-Keep the link, be connected emotionally with each others. It goes through intimacy & patience, don’t let your couple drift away. Hold on to it. It’s not just about the ring. Be a woman who cares about him & his activities, he is not just a provider so be generous in giving up a bit of your old fashioned principles. It’s not a war , you are not fighting a battle & he is not your enemy. The only enemy is your ego. So speak up but with respect & don’t ever confront him in front of others, you share a bed for a purpose, do not humiliate him in public . be smart & strategic; Cultivate your low ego, in the name of love. Don’t you do it with your close friends?

3-Share your interests and your thoughts with him even if he is going to criticize, try to ignore his judgment & make him feel part of your life projects. Too often in fear of criticism or rejection we hide a lot to our partners & all they end up doing  the same & we both lose trust in each others. You don’t want him to hear about what you are planning outside of home, don’t you?

4-Listen to him til the end whenever he expresses an opinion, try at least, we women tend to jump on words & sentences before getting the whole story. Yeah that’s me I am talking about. Do as I say , don’t do what I do loool.

5-You owe loyalty to your man no matter what. The way you jump on people’s throat when your friends are criticized should be the way you defend him when your entourage attempts to talk about him. Too often we tend to make our issues public to just anyone ready to listen. Just shut up. Endure; Talk to a trusted elder ( preferably not from your families) , seek advice in a mature way but please be careful on how & to whom you are sharing with. Misinterpretation from a third party can damage your marriage.

6- He just did a big deal, made a certain amount of money, has some new projects, please girlfriend stop showing off to your girls by bragging about your husband’ s achievements. If he makes more money they will see it somehow, your man doesn’t want half of town to know about his professional business . So behave like when your friends tell you a secret. Be discreet. Your mum, sister ,etc. don’t need to know “All about Mr Hubby”.  show that you can be a trusted confident. Too often we tend to talk too much…

7-Understand & accept his silences , touch his hand, kiss his cheeks , hold him, instead of harassing him with inappropriate questions, he will tell you when he is ready. It’s not always about you so keep cool Madam.

8-Learn to anticipate his moods, you should know him better than anyone so watch out for those signs when he comes back home. It’s funny how we pay attention to our friends’ moods but ignore those of our life partner.

9-Have a laugh together, watch  a fun movie , crack jokes.Do have a fun moment together, Husbands would love to have fun with you.

10-Show Interest in his affairs even if you are not really. I know politics or finance can be quite boring issues but beside technical aspects you can use your feminine intuition to  advise him on human issues. Support his successes & failures . Be there emotionally in hard times instead of complaining or saying ‘I knew it’. It’s funny how we show more indulgence to other people whereas we just can’t stop criticizing our life partner. He needs a friend too. Who better than you can be that friend?

11-Think twice before you open your mouth. Stop thinking “he is my husband, I can say what I want or what can he do to me?… He is also a person & like your friends you should about his feelings too. A balanced compromise is the key to a successful relationship. Make sure you are objective & remember it’s not always about your selfish little person. (referring to my own experience & behavior here)

12-Nurture his soul with positivity, never stop encouraging him like a real friend would. Share quotes from the Quran, the bible or just uplifting quotes exactly as you do with your good friends.

And please use & abuse of healing words.

 “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” Mother Theresa

“Be empowered because you are powerful”

©Naboulove™

Be your husband’s mistress.

He chose you over other women to spend his life with him, to be the mother of his children & above all to be his companion through thick & thin so stop behaving like a shocked prude just because you belong to the « Wife » Club or as the title of Ekene Onu states as a member of the « Mrs Club ». So why do I write this, because I am angry with all my married sisters, friends etc. who give up the best part of their husband’s time to other women. Please stop telling me you hold hands in public but hardly have sex in private. It is wrong, You are the legitimate partner of your man & you owe each other breathless nights of torrid sex. Quit the religious crap you are hiding behind , sleeping at church or trying to replace an Islamic scholar. To be wild with your husband is Right. So instead of whining & complaining about his plenty “ghost” mistresses & girlfriends he seems to enjoy life with, stand up & #takeyourmarriageback. Every day you can decide to initiate a new start even after endless years of marriage. So since he is the man of your life, your one & only don’t end up bitter or looking for a lover to satisfy your needs (that is a sin, even if the lover is your pastor or a Malam lol). It’s easier to draw a plan, & decide to become your husband’s mistress. So if you were a “Desperate African Housewife” longing for hot steaming sex, here are few ideas on how to make a difference in the bedroom. And remember your man might seem surprised at first or a bit suspicious but hang on there , he is your husband, & since you are already the mother of his kids, there is no harm in also becoming his perfect mistress & sex partner.

Of course you can’t be alert 24/7 but please I don’t want you to give the man a chance outside of Home; you have the power , he has to come home every day, he has to eat your food & has to spend some time at home whether he likes it or not. So open your drawers & bring out all the sexy lingerie, aphrodisiacs, Kayan Mata, Béthios, Bin bins, etc. you have been buying always waiting for the best moment to use. Now is the time. So Mrs member of the Legitimate & legally Married Club , be ready to also be a very sexually satisfied wife.

1-    It’s not because he is your husband that you should take him for granted, so make yourself indispensable by listening to him, become his friend, & win his confidence. Stop being the reasonable judgmental bitchy wife once in a while so that he can freely share his thoughts with you, carelessly & freely. Be his lover, confidant & intellectual muse.

2-    Remember it is more than sharing a bed together or sleeping under the same roof, it is about making those moments unique once in a while (I know it can’t be everyday), reality is when you tell him about school fees etc. But indulge for some fantasies & dare to create mind blowing bedroom moments for your man. I am sure you have clear ideas of few fantasies but never dared… If you can’t be crazy with the man you share your life with, then don’t complain if sex is scarce… Forget about all our African taboos presenting the wife as a “pseudo saint”…Hell with that you also need to feel desired & create passion in your couple.

3-    Surprising Factor. Stop blabbing endlessly about your women’s gathering & gossip about the neighbor’s wife…cultivate mystery, be unpredictable & don’t let him always be able to read your thought. Have a life, a job, a passion, a hobby outside of him. Let him miss you, ask you question, wonder a bit about you & be surprised.

4-    You love your children unconditionally right? Try to give him that kind of love, without being a doormat, reconquer the intimacy you used to share together. Learn to trust him. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t have married you. Don’t accept just any fool to come & bring your husband down. Trust, Intimacy, Respect are what you owe him. And whatever happens outside your home out of your knowledge or sight shouldn’t be any of your business as long as you are a respected , well taken care of wife.

5-    Never mention the other “woman” or “women” – if there are any- in an insane jealous way; the man is yours. Be subtle, strategic, mature & make him feel what he is missing at home by being attractive, sexy, nice & friendly. If you have a point to make, don’t be aggressive…COMMUNICATE don’t attack.

6-    Creativity/Innovation are keys , as you know men need excitement to awaken their senses, so don’t hesitate, tie him to the bed, use cufflings, feathers, massages. Suggest sex in a different room of the house or even in the bathroom, get out of that bed & innovate, initiate… Sexting about your underwear while you are at a dinner, or emailing him a kinky picture of you when he is away, don’t be shy. Describe to him the things you would love to do to hi in simple words, even by calling him at his office.

7-    Foreplay, majority of men love Blow Jobs, & am sure that many more African men would feel freer in bed with their wives if they showed a bit of kinkiness instead of playing the “preacher’s wife” role. Ice cream, Ice cube, chocolate, or even specially designed products are available. Use your head to spice the foreplays. Role playing . Why not? And stop that African sentence “ it’s for white people”. That is where you are mistaking Madam. Once again he is your MAN. Do your thang & have fun.

8-    Escape: Get out of home. Don’t tell me there are no hotels in your town, you don’t even need to leave town to make it hot. A change of environment can be an arousal factor. Why don’t you meet for a drink after his office hour & spend few hours in a hotel room. Revive it … And whenever you can a weekend out of town can rekindle a lot of things between you. Ask him daredevil…

9-    Make Over . You can wer anything when with your husband but forget about the wrapper & the Ankara dress. Buy short dresses that you will wear just for a dinner at home with him. A bit of lipstick, a new hairstyle, henna, red nail polish, lace, silk… Be a different woman , a woman exulting desire for her husband, happy to please him & ready for a sexual firework.

10- Awaken the 5 senses; I know am repeating myself but one can never stop saying it : It’s not only about sex, but also tease his taste buds , by cooking with new spices, or give him new Cocktails to drink, use different enticing fragrances on your body & also in your home , let him see a sexier you , a clean house, touch a soft skin, hear a nice lovely music –  Sexual Healing , I wanna sex you up-, have a gentle low sexy voice tone, & …

So you have the power so don’t let it slip away just because you are happy with the ring. Take charge, Make the move & be your husband’s Mistress.

“Be empowered because you are powerful”

©Naboulove

Some like it big

Horny males turn heads and roll eyes whenever she walks by their side and within their sight, displaying her generous backside. While she moves herself slowly, back straight, and head up, their dirty minds are racing, craving for her generous bust and outrageously curvy and swinging hips . Yes African beauty queen, it is you I am describing. The hidden or declared fantasy of every man from Casablanca to Cape Town and Asmara  to Praia. Your figure depicts perfectly the voluptuous African woman before the “DIET”. Who told you healthy equals to skinny?  But in spite of all the warnings, you persisted even after you reached your ideal weight. Day after day, your feminine attributes started vanishing, leaving your man with a bitter taste of nostalgia   remembering when he would tease you  with a desire filled « Darling u are just my size » .

What happened to you? Were you sick? Are the questions you get day and night from the majority of the men. Your obsession of becoming the new « slenderness » icon of your town has failed & vanished as surely as your bouncy booty and your juicy body. One relief though: All your girl friends still envy you .Nevertheless you dislike the way your Man glances at Femi’s sexy body. Those are the moments when you really wonder “Why? Why? Why did I have to lose all that weight?” It is not as if you were attracted to European men – they seem to enjoy skinny girls- or if you lived anywhere above the Mediterranean Sea. The fact of the matter is that you live right here in Dakar, Lagos, Libreville or Douala. Kingdoms of males worshipping fleshy bodies and abhorring   bony figures.

Honestly speaking, did you have to shed all these kilos/pounds? The mirror reflects the image of a lady with high cheekbones with more bones than cheeks. Chaley! Is that really you? But the worst part being at night when his soft palms caress your body in search for your lost attributes of African feminity. His gestures are loudly complaining every time he is by your side. You can guess it even though he doesn’t say it “Darling your bones are hurting me. His eyes are begging you “Darling please get your body back” .His whole being begging to feel your Body.

Guilty feelings. Why did I want to look like a top model when am just a real woman, living in a real world full of real men? So your fulfilled fantasy of a skinny you has slowly turned into a nightmare? It feels like a part of your womanhood fled with some kilos/pounds. Sorry Girl. Just get back to your good old rice, pounded yam & soup diet. Allow me to laugh out loud! Sorry Laugh Wan Kill me! It will fit back right in your hips. How do you position yourself between the paradox where all your dresses love you, your friends envy your new shape but your African King  just wants your old self back. « Darling who told you to lose so much weight? »

 That little voice inside of you whispers to your ego: If only I had known. Despising that Ego who wanted a thinner you, parading in tight little dresses. Live & Learn Mam! Next time remember that life is not your favorite glossy magazine and some (I am afraid to say many)  like it Big down here in Africa!
2011©Naboulove

DON’T MISS THE START!

There is a new glow on your face, your eyes are shining, you irradiate happiness, smiling for no reason, unlike the 6 previous months. It seems like you have a man in your bed oooh sorry I meant in your life! The magic and the spark of a new relationship is showing all over your face. Please Madam leave the moon for a second, Stop floating on your fantasy filled cloud & come back  to reality , wake up before you repeat the mistakes of the past and take action so that you don’t fail to achieve a solid relationship. Once the  magic fades. It is like in a marathon, you should set the pace from the start in order to find the rhythm that will keep you fit and running on a long distance. So before it’s too late, set the right pace not to miss the start of your fresh relationship. I gathered this list from my personal experience, as well as from exchanging with friends from both genders. Feel free to enrich if you feel something is missing. So here we go:
1-set clear rules outlining the limits for each of you
2-express your expectations with words (your wants and needs)
3- say it when you  are unhappy
4-start what you can finish (if you cook chef dinner every day you can never go back so beware!)
5-listen to your heart (don’t shut your inner voice, your feminine intuition has a way of sending signals you shouldn’t underestimate)
6-you are in love then show appreciation (it is not about saying I love you every second though)
7-only show your good side (if you stay together long enough if he will your other side)
8-Concentrate on his good side but keep an eye on eventual unacceptable traits (physical abuse , serial cheater…)
8-be a woman of interior ( create a homely cosy atmosphere)
9-have listening ear ,observing eyes and a shut mouth (best way to know him better)
10-anticipate his needs and wants (don’t overdo it though be moderate and balanced in your ways)
11-first time sex might not be good so don’t judge or give up, learn to know each other sexually
12-don’t show to much independence, let him be in charge, don’t be afraid to need him
13-Don’t let your world revolve around him! Live your life outside the « two of you ».
14-give him some space (don’t call him every hour please!)
15-don’t accept the unacceptable (you deserve respect)
16-don’t leave a third party in between you (already have communication issues?)
17-don’t rush to meet his mother or introduce yours yet ! (Wait a month at least)
18-be a reliable woman, a man needs a supportive partner, I didn’t say be his slave though!
19-don’t show up untidy or messy
20-keep your feminine secrets (who cares about your vaginal discharges and your pill history?)
21-don’t disclose  your friends’ dirty secrets ( he might believe yours are equally dirty)
22-Don’t let him control you emotionally, financially or physically &don’t be controlling
23-stop pretending you don’t care when it hurts, either you say it or you get over it if you keep silent
24-forget about your ex’s and don’t mention him/them (this might be used against you in a near future)
25-give him the benefit of the doubt unless proven otherwise
26-be unpredictable
27-remember: you are not always write on everything so cut the crap once in a while.
28-let him feel he controls things while u are the master of the game
29-Never ever humiliate him in public ( or even in private), address your issues to him in a mature way
30-Don’t move in or let him move in..
31-stay away from shower cap, face mask, grandma style wrapper when he is around if it works out you will have a lifetime to show your natural self
32-learn to respect his silence, you don’t have to fill the space it with words all the time (Still working on that one myself)
33-listen more than you talk
34-Don’t nag or complain… yet
35-let go off fear, if you did your best and he goes then he just doesn’t deserve you so cry a day or two and move on

No matter how far you have gotten  in your relationship , it is never too late to try to fix oneself and improve the current state of your love affair. Pick whatever item that might apply to your current situation and make the shift. What it takes is just to accept as Ghandi states it so well  » to be the change you want to see in the world ». Even though things are always  wonderful in the start never lose sight that « the same causes create the same effects », so Lady it is time to take the bull by the horn and make this work!
Xoxo
2011©Naboulove