Archives pour la catégorie SeX tips

Be your husband’s mistress.

He chose you over other women to spend his life with him, to be the mother of his children & above all to be his companion through thick & thin so stop behaving like a shocked prude just because you belong to the « Wife » Club or as the title of Ekene Onu states as a member of the « Mrs Club ». So why do I write this, because I am angry with all my married sisters, friends etc. who give up the best part of their husband’s time to other women. Please stop telling me you hold hands in public but hardly have sex in private. It is wrong, You are the legitimate partner of your man & you owe each other breathless nights of torrid sex. Quit the religious crap you are hiding behind , sleeping at church or trying to replace an Islamic scholar. To be wild with your husband is Right. So instead of whining & complaining about his plenty “ghost” mistresses & girlfriends he seems to enjoy life with, stand up & #takeyourmarriageback. Every day you can decide to initiate a new start even after endless years of marriage. So since he is the man of your life, your one & only don’t end up bitter or looking for a lover to satisfy your needs (that is a sin, even if the lover is your pastor or a Malam lol). It’s easier to draw a plan, & decide to become your husband’s mistress. So if you were a “Desperate African Housewife” longing for hot steaming sex, here are few ideas on how to make a difference in the bedroom. And remember your man might seem surprised at first or a bit suspicious but hang on there , he is your husband, & since you are already the mother of his kids, there is no harm in also becoming his perfect mistress & sex partner.

Of course you can’t be alert 24/7 but please I don’t want you to give the man a chance outside of Home; you have the power , he has to come home every day, he has to eat your food & has to spend some time at home whether he likes it or not. So open your drawers & bring out all the sexy lingerie, aphrodisiacs, Kayan Mata, Béthios, Bin bins, etc. you have been buying always waiting for the best moment to use. Now is the time. So Mrs member of the Legitimate & legally Married Club , be ready to also be a very sexually satisfied wife.

1-    It’s not because he is your husband that you should take him for granted, so make yourself indispensable by listening to him, become his friend, & win his confidence. Stop being the reasonable judgmental bitchy wife once in a while so that he can freely share his thoughts with you, carelessly & freely. Be his lover, confidant & intellectual muse.

2-    Remember it is more than sharing a bed together or sleeping under the same roof, it is about making those moments unique once in a while (I know it can’t be everyday), reality is when you tell him about school fees etc. But indulge for some fantasies & dare to create mind blowing bedroom moments for your man. I am sure you have clear ideas of few fantasies but never dared… If you can’t be crazy with the man you share your life with, then don’t complain if sex is scarce… Forget about all our African taboos presenting the wife as a “pseudo saint”…Hell with that you also need to feel desired & create passion in your couple.

3-    Surprising Factor. Stop blabbing endlessly about your women’s gathering & gossip about the neighbor’s wife…cultivate mystery, be unpredictable & don’t let him always be able to read your thought. Have a life, a job, a passion, a hobby outside of him. Let him miss you, ask you question, wonder a bit about you & be surprised.

4-    You love your children unconditionally right? Try to give him that kind of love, without being a doormat, reconquer the intimacy you used to share together. Learn to trust him. If he didn’t love you, he wouldn’t have married you. Don’t accept just any fool to come & bring your husband down. Trust, Intimacy, Respect are what you owe him. And whatever happens outside your home out of your knowledge or sight shouldn’t be any of your business as long as you are a respected , well taken care of wife.

5-    Never mention the other “woman” or “women” – if there are any- in an insane jealous way; the man is yours. Be subtle, strategic, mature & make him feel what he is missing at home by being attractive, sexy, nice & friendly. If you have a point to make, don’t be aggressive…COMMUNICATE don’t attack.

6-    Creativity/Innovation are keys , as you know men need excitement to awaken their senses, so don’t hesitate, tie him to the bed, use cufflings, feathers, massages. Suggest sex in a different room of the house or even in the bathroom, get out of that bed & innovate, initiate… Sexting about your underwear while you are at a dinner, or emailing him a kinky picture of you when he is away, don’t be shy. Describe to him the things you would love to do to hi in simple words, even by calling him at his office.

7-    Foreplay, majority of men love Blow Jobs, & am sure that many more African men would feel freer in bed with their wives if they showed a bit of kinkiness instead of playing the “preacher’s wife” role. Ice cream, Ice cube, chocolate, or even specially designed products are available. Use your head to spice the foreplays. Role playing . Why not? And stop that African sentence “ it’s for white people”. That is where you are mistaking Madam. Once again he is your MAN. Do your thang & have fun.

8-    Escape: Get out of home. Don’t tell me there are no hotels in your town, you don’t even need to leave town to make it hot. A change of environment can be an arousal factor. Why don’t you meet for a drink after his office hour & spend few hours in a hotel room. Revive it … And whenever you can a weekend out of town can rekindle a lot of things between you. Ask him daredevil…

9-    Make Over . You can wer anything when with your husband but forget about the wrapper & the Ankara dress. Buy short dresses that you will wear just for a dinner at home with him. A bit of lipstick, a new hairstyle, henna, red nail polish, lace, silk… Be a different woman , a woman exulting desire for her husband, happy to please him & ready for a sexual firework.

10- Awaken the 5 senses; I know am repeating myself but one can never stop saying it : It’s not only about sex, but also tease his taste buds , by cooking with new spices, or give him new Cocktails to drink, use different enticing fragrances on your body & also in your home , let him see a sexier you , a clean house, touch a soft skin, hear a nice lovely music –  Sexual Healing , I wanna sex you up-, have a gentle low sexy voice tone, & …

So you have the power so don’t let it slip away just because you are happy with the ring. Take charge, Make the move & be your husband’s Mistress.

“Be empowered because you are powerful”


How to resist to a man on a first date??

Ok girls, you met that guy, he is cute , hot , you have been chatting on facebook or twitter, or else, You have met him mostly with friends around … You have had that dirty talk on the phone . And you have been single for some times… Swearing to yourself that the next one will be the ONE – dreamz do come true some times *my sarcastic tone* – … And in the end after all these weeks or months he asks you out on a date. You age doesn’t matter , you are just stressed, excited, shaking & a bit feeling « like a virgin »…hahahahaha… nO worries . You don’t want to give it to him event though you have been longing for a bit of sexcitement in a long time. I just thought of few ideas to help you resist to your natural urge to let go  – think about all the pain you will save to yourself-.

So here are few tips on how to close your legs on a first date:

1-Don’t shave … it works indeed. you dont want to pass for mother bear , don’t you. he might be put off forever.

2-Meet him during your periods… who wants to be a first time in a blood bath?

3-Wear your ugliest panty – or make sure u tear it in order to have a disgusting hole-…No matter how much your lust is high you will be frozen everytime you think about your « uglypanty »

4-Tell him about all your money problems, etc. (the risk is you might never see him again). But with this one he might drop u home even before the dessert or disappear for good in the restaurant.

5- Drink your chinese diet tea around noon, so that the timing will be perfect for a super Diarrhea & stomach ache after the dinner. Who wants to spend an evening in a fine man’s bathroom .lool. your excuse will be  » I think something didn’t work with my stomach » with an embarassed smile.

6-If you are Christian just remember the last preaching on fornication at church & how Hell is ready to welcome you …

7- If you are Muslim remember the heat of Hell for fornicators… frightening isn’t it

8- Have a close look at his left hand or find out if he is married . And remember the last married man you went out with kept you as a mistress for an an endless time. you don’t want to go through all that BS don’t you?

9- oK he is single but has been single for so long that nobody recalls the name of his last long lasting relationship… there is something fishy girl. Don’t fall in the trap . Some guyz  are born to be bachelors for life ; SAVE YOURSELF THE PAIN.

10- If you just couldn’t hold it,then I hope it was at least worth it & be ready for whatever happens afterwards good or bad. Remove that guilty feeling girl coz you made your choice in the end.

Be Empowered



To Condom Or Not To Condom

With the rise of awareness to STD’s some are still wondering whether to wear condoms or not. In many of our countries, prostitutes who make love without condoms are paid double or triple the price of protected sex. It is true that money is scarce for the majority of africans, but wd u rather put your life at risk than be healthy and keep on providing for ur family. I remember those days when I was still studying in Paris and one of my friend who was a Medical Doctor got pregnant by accident! Shit does happen even to the more educated of us. Why? Just because African women r always afraid to say no to their men, fearing that he wd leave for another one. So be it Ladies! No one is worth your health and your life! And in the best scenario pregnancy is the best thing that could happen to you, compared to Aids. No be so? Whoever values and loves you MUST accept that you protect yourself. Recently reading statistics about aids propagation in Congo Brazzaville, I was shocked to find out that many faithful married women were condemned to death by their husbands! Chaley! Wetin I go do now sistah Naboulove? Well make sure you drag your man and yourself to HIV testing regularly. And the greatest tactic is to constantly remind him about the people in your entourage who either died of it -especially beautiful women- or are currently going through tri-therapy. And please talk to him about using condoms if he slips. Unlike what preachers of all sorts are claiming, aids is not a punishment from God but a fatality transmitted by careless individuals. A close friend of mine has been contaminated by her husband over 10 years ago and she never starts a relationship without informing her partner and protect him. So obviously you gathered the answer to my question so stay safe and turn your back to any individual that might put your life at stake for few minutes of pleasure.

Protect yourself

Sprinkle! Sprinkle! Sex Spices!

Don’t hesitate to sprinkle and make it tasty,and moreover they will improve your “sexnergy”, so learn and cook. Bon apetit

Cayenne pepper
Contains a high amount of vitamin C. It is an exciting agent that stimulates the circulation. Little red and green Mexican chilies have the same properties.

Contains vitamins A, C, B, P, minerals and trace elements. It is excellent for the muscles and liquefies the blood; it also reduces the cholesterol levels and helps arteries fight aging. 

One of the most powerful natural aphrodisiacs. It is also effective against mental and physical fatigue as well as memory loss.  

Its dried seed has an euphoric effect, especially for women. It’s used to soak it in wine, however is recommended do not make abusive use of the substance in order to avoid opposite effects.

It has been used in drinks destined to excite the senses. Taken in reasonable doses, it causes healthy hot flushes. In excessive doses, it irritates the intestines.

Its pulp has aphrodisiac properties.

Its deliciously scented flowers are cultivated all around the world, but the Spanish jasmine is the one of the mainly used to perfume liqueurs. Be careful, because jasmine seeds are poisonous. 

Stimulates the action of sexual glands. There are three kinds of mustard: black, white and yellow, from India.

Is a brown substance extracted from a gland under the abdomen skin of small deer that live in South-Eastern Asia. In spite of its unappetizing origin, it is a panacea and it was used to treat epilepsy, whooping cough, typhoid fever, and pneumonia. It is know for its highly aphrodisiac virtues. It is pounded to a powder, like amber, and lightly sprinkled over food. Be careful because an excess causes dizziness.

It has the reputation of being the man’s best friend. It’s comes from Banda Island, Indonesia.

In infusion, it is a remarkable exciting agent.

Has stimulating properties on the erogenous zones. Studies have proven that it has similar effects like hormones. Nevertheless, pay attention and watch your consumption: excessive doses of saffron may cause uncontrollable laughter.

Nerve tonic with aphrodisiac effects. Moreover, it is a powerful cleanser for the body.

It has an aphorizing effect and can be used at will. It combats sexual asthenia, acts upon the central nervous system and, through its odor, indirectly acts upon sexual stimulation. 


 is popular in India and in Arabic cultures, and used to be employed by the Chinese court to give users a fragrant breath


Affirm Your Sexiness

What makes likes of Genevieve Nnaji, Beyonce Knowles, Iman and even the ordinary next door girl  look sexy in the eyes of the world? Is it their looks, the way they dress, they perfect body or a whole? Be reassured ladies, sexy has nothing to do with perfect beauty and doesn’t relate to being dressed in mini skirt with half of your boobs coming out of your top .You envy that colleague of yours because men at work follow her with their eyes every time she is around. And she is not the epitome of beauty she is neither slim nor have half of her body in sight! Being sexy is in the way you talk , walk, smile, glance. It is an attitude that you can acquire and develop. So don’t give up and continue reading!
By Observing, watching, discussing and asking around, I have compiled the following guideline that might help you reveal the sexiness in you:
1-Carry yourself with confidence, feel like Miss Universe when you walk, breathe in and forget about the fact that you are short, overweight or not as pretty as your sister. Just feel good inside, because you are yourself  and nobody  can take that away from you. Confidence – I didn’t say arrogance- is a head turner and will make you hot, whereas arrogance will make you cheap even if you are indeed Miss Universe.
2-Work on your posture Madam! Keep your back straight, your tummy in, your head up. No matter what hold on to your posture.
3-Smile inside and bring it on your face. I didn’t say laugh out loud. A heartfelt, sincere ,slightly naughty smile is attractive and brings out your charisma.
4-Cultivate the way you look at people. Work on your magnetic glance by making subtle eye contact and keeping a part of your mystery. Your eyes must be the most expressive part of your body without saying it all. Send mixed messages. Even if u r not into make-up, put khol or eyeliner and mascara to create and emphasize an enigmatic you.
5-Have a style of your own, Choose bright  and sexy colors like pink and red – they always compliment dark complexion- and always keep it as simple as possible –over accessorizing you might end up looking like a Christmas tree-. Make sure you have a hairstyle that suits you and when you get dressed don’t wear anything that doesn’t work with your body figure! sexy is not about being half naked so don’t be vulgar. Remember it’s about style, not fashion.
6-Wear beautiful lingerie to feel sexy for yourself. Whether you are into lace, silk or cotton, indulge yourself with the best just to please your body. It will make a huge difference in the way you feel.
7-wearing a ton of make-up and looking like a Picasso painting is everything but sexy. Apart from your eyes, your lips are essential to your sexiness. Choose a color that goes with your complexion and invest in a gloss that will always keep them inviting. Impeccably manicured nails as well as a flawless skin will add a lot to your sex appeal.
8-Don’t be to available and avoid the African spot lights. You are not a star so don’t behave like one and avoid being the one who doesn’t miss out a party. Cultivate the mystery around your whereabouts and like everything rare increase your market value.*Wink
9-Improve your personality: be real, genuinely helpful, caring ,polite and just friendly enough with everyone around without overdoing it. A nice woman is so sexy to be with.

10- Cease every opportunity to unleash your feminity. Dare to be a woman who needs and seeks assistance and help from others. Revealing your fragility,  will attract many super heroes around ready to come rescue you or help you.
11-Choose a fragrance that suits you. A classic I don’t need to develop.
12-Watch yourself in a mirror and affirm : “I am sexy “. If you are not convinced , who could you convince?

13- Reverse all the negative image you had of yourself: replace I am fat with I am voluptuous, I am short by I am delicate and so on… I am sure you feel better already. If you think your lips are big or your nose is ugly, think about them as winning features that will add sex appeal as long as you learn to love them.

14-Enough said, go out and start now and check all those males eyeing at your sexy self.

« Be empowered because you are powerful »