Archives pour la catégorie Inspirational

There is strenght in weakness… 

You dont have to be always Strong, there is strenght in weakness. 

Life is a cycle with ups & down, a war front where we face daily challenges & overcome struggles.  They can be the loss of a loved one, a break Up, a necessary change of lifestyle , the  fight for survival , a chronic disease…
 It Has been a cliché to praise strong women & men , to do the apology of emotionless super heroes and forget that after all, we are all so human, So vulnerable,  So sensitive & breakable.   I think the trend pushing us into pretending to be strong & unbreakable is the greatest disease of our Times . We refrain from crying, avoid showing our heartaches & ignore the healing process attached to any brutal event that May affect our lives. Emotionally we need to allow ourselves to go through the process that will lead us to acceptance. Instead of doing so, we shut our feelings, pretend to be fine,  fake happiness & move on , unaware that we are broken inside. And unknowingly, ONE Day we have symptoms of PTSD (post traumatric stress disorder) caused by the absence of grieving from a traumatizing experience. Myself ,I have often appeared as being the Strong woman , the leading sister in control, seemingly happy & smiling through hell . I was taught that a strong woman keeps her pain to herself. I was raised as a Fulani not to show off my emotions & feelings & never to expose my weaknesses.  But life has taught me a different lesson:  I have come to realize that being down & low is a strenght that will allow me to heal properly , to have thinner scars , to repair the broken parts of me. Skipping that stage is what contributes to Create nervous breakdown,  bitterness & a feeling of unhappiness that can’t be explained or defined . Go back to your abandonned heartaches, list them, face them, evaluate their level of healing, act upon them , grieve, hate , cry, then soothe, forgive & start healing by mending your open scars. All the wounds you left open inside you, that may affect Your emotional well Being , allow them to be closed & heal as needed . Talk to whoever you need to , forget about the African « What People would think » drama ,after all they are as human & vulnerable as you are, ignore the How  society would judge  you » & share your suffering . If It means talking to a shrink , do It. If It means crying in the arms of your mother or siblings, do it, however you need to let It Out, just do It. Dont Keep that poison inside you , let It flow, let It build you, let It strenghten you , then you will be ready to move on permanently. 
Beware,  I Never said you should mourn forever but give It a timeframe that will allow you to come out of it refreshed not broken into pieces. We are not super heroes of fiction with magic Powers that Will Help us heal in minutes , We are just humans regardless of our age, position or gender , We have feelings , We have weaknesses, We have empathy & we cannot shut our human side in the name of appearing strong for the sake of appearances. 

Be empowered by your weaknesses 
Naboulove 

To the hearts I have broken : please forgive me. 

​I spent so much time in pain dwelling  about heartbreaks & darkness in my soul. I cried out torn by an Insane love story in which I was the victim & the other was the eternal heartbreaker. Wait a minute!  Rewind…  How many hearts have I broken myself?  In the selfishness of my egotistical relationships drama do I ever think about those who may be the victims?  And you do you ever put yourself in the shoes of those you may have hurt.  Do you think about that guy who loved you that you tried loving and left just because you never fell in love with him? You remember his name?  Have you ever felt any compassion for his pain?  I didn’t. I just moved on carelessly & felt like I was right because I didn’t love him.  

What about that amazing guy who made a small mistake but you just couldn’t forgive him in the name of your misled & misplaced pride.  

You are not the only one worthy of forgiveness. 

So this it the other way round. They may call it Karma. I just call it life path.  That path is not easy to walk and we must not only be self centered & self conscious but we must also care about those who love us.  How many friends have we hurt knowingly or unknowingly?  Did we even try to understand the why & how? 

I tried to dig inside my selfish self & managed to remember the hearts I may have broken , torn or bruised:   Family members, friends or lovers?  It is not a very agreeable exercise but I realized it helps.  Hurting hurts & feeling uneasy about what we did confirms it wasn’t right. What doesn’t feel good and right is generally bad & wrong.  We are not just the result of our pains. We are also the product of our guilt trips.  To all the hearts I may have broken consciously or unconsciously FOrgive me as I am working towards self forgiveness. It is not about stating excuses or giving explanations but just about consciously acknowledging that I am not nicer than those who have hurt me.  I am also responsible for some pains & some people think about me as the person who killed their hopes at a given time in life.  I had to unlove them then for some reasons that seemed valid to me at that time.  Exactly the same way, those who hurt me had to do so to find their own peace of mind when it happened.  I replaced blame shifting ,  guilt tripping & remorses with responsibility. And here I am before the world finding peace in awareness & taking responsibility for hearts broken on my life path.  

Peace Love & Light.  It is never the end as long as you breathe. 

Be Empowered because you are powerful. 

Naboulove

Naboulove Power Series 7-There Is So Much Power In Faith

 

“None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith.”  Paulo Coelho
Faith is believing without seeing, trusting without knowing, cultivating an inner feeling of peace, knowing that no matter what, as long as we move, even if we stumble upon something or fall into pieces, eventually God will lift us up. Faith has so many faces, names, etc. Kids hv faith in their parents, trusting them to guide them support them & lead them into life. But most parents hv God whatever their religion is, to enlighten them & guide them to raise proper men & women. Faith moves mountain. As a matter of fact if u believe in yourself sincerely, you will find in you a strenght that will make u achieve above your expectations. Sincerity in your faith is one of the key to powerful achievements. Steve Jobs never stopped in spite of ups & downs in his career. And Now here we’re all possessed by the Apple logo. Iphone, Ipad, I believe.

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Faith is what turns a singer into a star, a writer into a universal messenger, an ordinary person into doing extraordinary things. But don’t be fooled or naïve faith comes with movement, « keep on moving don’t stop now » says the song. Faith is about moving, doing, being. To have faith is not compatible with a static state. You can’t walk if you don’t stand up & put one foot after the other. Adversity, hardship, suffering, challenges are part our life. If the majority didn’t have faith at all, we would undergo collective suicide rituals. Overlook the discomfort & keep on believing without forgetting a discerning attitude. To hv faith is also to aknowledge our mistakes, correct them or realize we are on the wrong path & look for a better way. As we know all now life is the path not the destination. So let’s make it a power path with a faith as strong a mustard seed to move the mountains on our way. Practice, patience, passion & persistence will strengthen your faith along the road . Read the signs, but keep on believing you can fly & touch the sky as long as you are moving.
“Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.”Henry Ward Beecher

©Naboulove

Naboulove Power Series 6- Discover Joy In The Power Of Now

NOW

“I don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy man. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living now.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist.

Why do we always want to unveil, foresee, know the future? The fear of tomorrow has a right in our lives over the genuine appreciation of today. Fortune tellers will hate me today but let’s face the reality: they mostly sell illusion & comfort using our worries about tomorrow. Even when we claim to be Christians or Muslims we fall in the trap of believing another human being can predict our future, when in fact, focusing on today shapes tomorrow.

As a young woman I was always wondering what my future would be like. As a woman, I worry for my kids, my younger siblings, my relatives not even taking the time to enjoy the fact that now they are happy, healthy & alive. We spend so much  time nurturing worries about what will be that we lose contact with what is. but I don’t think about their current state but mostly about what will happen tomorrow.

So how do we stop or at least reduce our  projections on a hypothetical worrisome future that hasn’t arrived yet? Why do we cultivate stress about what hasn’t yet arrived or what could or might be, when we can just think about now. Focusing on doing our best, being our best Now, ensures a brighter later. As simple as that. Hmmm. Another trick I found out about ,is to develop a constant attitude of gratitude for what we have or experience at each moment, instead of complaining about what we would like to have tomorrow. How many people have cars, , even a computer & an internet connection from the comfort of their homes right here in Africa? You are realizing how joyful you are & grateful of all these privileges right? Smile then look around you & fill your heart with Joy. Easy, isn’t it?

Also try the movie trick: when you watch a film you follow each detail of the story, don’t you? So try to do the same when you live your life: concentrate on your food when you eat, on your game when you play, on nothing when you chill etc. Remove all those unnecessary thoughts about a future you don’t really have any control upon. It’s week-end so just have fun, relax & forget about the rest.

When it comes to the past, what happened then, however painful or dark it might have been doesn’t define who we are as a person. Each new moment gives us an opportunity to recreate ourselves & make the rest of our lives a positive experience. Whatever you might have done wrong, forgive yourself . If people have hurt you, face the pain & heal with forgiveness towards them. Don’t give the past or the future power over your present. Let the power of Now envelop you fully because tomorrow is another day.

Each time you fall into the past or jump into the future you miss what is going on right now. Right now you have the opportunity to create a fresh new start. Release the past! Receive your good now. Trust that when you reach tomorrow, there will be nothing but good waiting for you. Iyanla Vanzant

Be Empowered Because you are Powerful

©Naboulove

Naboulove power series 5-Few power lifting Questions to assess your life control level

“At  the end of the day, the questions we ask of ourselves determine the type of people that we will become.” ― Leo Babauta

Questions, questions, questions… we hate them when they come from others & we realize that we seldom ask them to ourselves. We are engaged into daily activities, claiming to be busy & so. But really, how many times do we sit back & have that little inner interview that could help us clarify things? Like now I am just in super procrastinating mood…And really I wonder why? Moreover I feel super duper happy just for no reason, so obviously am not procrastinating out of unhappiness but maybe the crazy side of my brain is more active than it should be. Some days are like that in my Nabouworld™. I guess I am not the only one… ANYWAY when I am in discomfort I ask to myself a few set of questions that are not so easy to answer. Yeah we actually lie more to ourselves than to others. FACT. However let me just share with you & the game is yours. It’s strange how simple questions are bound to generate complicating & complicated answers…

 
1-Am I happy?
It sounds simple right. SO answer .Yes OR No .

2-Why am I happy? Why am I not happy?

Reminds me of my philosophy classes in high school with over elaborated definition of happiness. LOL. Keep it simple. Just try & pinpoints the Why yes or Why not. Is it family, work, your health, social environment etc. Make it short , straight to the point. Self diagnose your issues.

3-What is my Life purpose?
Big word again for something that could be simply stated as what would you love doing to feel alive? It is personal & if it’s your kids, your kitchen, your home or any other thing that people could judge trivial & basic , it is your life, your choices, your goals . So forget about the outside world for now & just write it down. It can be the Nobel prize for peace too. Nothing is too small & nothing is too big as long as it makes you feel worthy of living…
4- What makes me happy, Really happy? Just think about every time you have felt happy , really happy. For me I know the day I gave birth to my twins was like the happiest moment in my life. I couldn’t believe I pushed two kids out of my body. It is an overwhelming unforgettable feeling of happiness. Something less grandiose eating crunchy nuts chocolate make me smile, laugh, frill of happiness. So list your moments of happiness & what caused them…

5-What would I do If I wasn’t afraid? Lawd me God! In my Jamaican creole voice… I would go to India , learn Ayurveda, then go to Bali with my kids. And also maybe I would write erotic fiction, really hot one & sign with my own name. I would maybe move to my village home, & write all the time. I would take my kids out of conventional school & find new ways of learning for them. I sound really mad… Just list it…

6-What are my greatest fears?  Waouw not easy to really pinpoint them but mostly the fears in general are: lack of means, fear to lose a family member, fear of society’s judgment, fear of pain, fear of failure, fear of starting all over…etc. What stops us is in general fear of leaving our comfort zone. Do your own equation here mine is already giving me headaches.
7-Do I love myself? The famous Self love matter of the century. Most of the times I do, except when my clothes don’t fit me, when I make wrong choices consciously or unconsciously , when I feel like I didn’t do what I had to do when I had to… But I do enjoy & love being me with my flaws & stubbornness …

8-When did you last do something for your own pleasure? Now I am writing for my own pleasure, I am enjoying every bit of it…
9-Name 10 things I am grateful for? The good old uplifting gratitude list never lets down a low mood…I have over 100 things to be grateful for. Yeah ok I will list them eventually. Alhamdulillah (I thank Allah) for everything is my motto though.

10-what do I postpone every day?  list 3 & just do them! Men I stopped eating chocolate, started exercising, so now I have few writings to finish I have been postponing shamelessly…
11-Am I myself or am I playing a part? It depends obviously, like everybody. My staff knows me as who I show them I am, and with my kids I am trying to be a responsible mother, I try as much as I can to act in alignment with my values but sometimes life situations just force you to compromise. Just trying not to sell my soul to the devil in the name of being “normal”…Challenging ? isn’t it?
12-How far would I go for love? As far as I can bear the pain maybe… even though it is supposed to only feel good. But we ought to be realistic here. Shit happens no matter how far you go & how hard you try…
13- My Weaknesses?         List 5 points I would like to improve in my  life right now:  Eat even better, exercise even more, do more homework with the kids, be less stubborn, think more before I talk sometimes, be less sensitive over issues…Oops I listed 6…
14- Strengths, strengths…  I am fearless, creative, generous, smiley, It would require a post in itself…LOOOOL.
16-Am I  balanced in the way I relate & connect with others: friends, family, co-worker, etc.?  Whenever I am in my emotional moods, I just run away in order to avoid imbalance  in my behavior. Otherwise I try as much as I can to be fair & give as much as I receive & still do my best regardless of  the selfishness level of the person facing me. Giving back for the times when I am the selfish one…

16-Write my first steps towards change & attempt to commit to them.
What should I do to look better, be healthier, be nicer, improve my skills, learn whatever has been in my mind forever? My plan is Doing-Learning-Improving-Practicing. What is yours?

P.S reminder to self

“An empowered life begins with serious personal questions about oneself. Those answers bare the seeds of success.” ― Steve Maraboli

Be empowered because you are powerful

©Naboulove