Archives pour la catégorie friendship

On ne revient pas indemne du Forum de Saint-Louis …

Déjà, la route vous invite vers cette ville où le temps semble s’être arrêté. En traversant Thiès, ça et là des charrettes tirées par des chevaux où des ânes  nous renvoient  des images  anachroniques. Les baobabs de la savane majestueux et certainement centenaires nous saluent au passage, de leurs statures imposantes. , les Pastèques géantes ornent les bas côtés de la route, les vanneries multicolores nous font des clins d’œil. Tivaouvane la Sainte, bastion de la Tidjaniyya au Sénégal nerveuse à l’approche imminente du Gamou du Maouloud ne nous laisse pas indifférentes. Puis Guéoul, qui m’émeut , réveille mes souvenirs et tiraille mes cicatrices. C’est la ville où mon père est enterré. La ville où je venais saluer ma Grand-mère paternelle et mes Badienes (tantes paternelles)  lors de mes séjours au Sunugal. Je récite quelques sourates censées garantir le Paradis à tous mes ancêtres qui sont au cimetière. Nous roulons au son de Wally Seck et Sidiki Diabaté … Quand enfin, Ndar s’ouvre à nous, agitée et vive, fiévreuse et séduisante. Le pont Faidherbe symbole d’hier et d’aujourd’hui nous accueille sur son lit de métal.

Direction Poste de Logistique, Hôtel Rognat, Place Faidherbe où la belle Aita, qui n’a pas ménagé d’efforts pour gérer les hébergements nous attribue une chambre Keur Dada.

Saint-Louis nous y sommes, le Forum tant attendu, tant annoncé, tant espéré est là à quelques mètres de nous. Prêt à nous happer par son énergie, sa diversité, sa richesse.

Les Dakarois timorés et curieux m’ont maintes fois interrogée sur le thème. A chaque interrogation, j’essaie de leur expliquer que ce Forum tel que Doudou Diaw l’a rêvé il défie la règle  » ce qui se conçoit clairement s’énonce clairement « . Quand on rencontre Doudou , on est à face à un rêveur, un visionnaire, un bâtisseur , un humaniste d’une extrême générosité. Il ne s’encombre pas de phrases. Ses rêves il les partage, et si on est prêt pour l’aventure on se met en condition pour vivre cette utopie avec lui. Le monde entier est au rendez vous autour du Bateau Bou El Mogdad. Ici et là je retrouve des familiers : cousins, cousines, amis d’enfance venus de Paris , Abidjan où Dakar . Je reconnais des célébrités du monde de l’art, de la musique où de la Presse. Je retrouve l’Afrique du Nord, l’Afrique Centrale, en bref le monde entier est là prêt à expérimenter la vision de Doudou. Sans hésitation,  nous sommes venus sûrs que des moments d’exception nous attendaient, des instants d’émotions que seuls un visionnaire peut créer et surtout transmettre. Les scientifiques, les financiers , les artistes , les écrivains , les stylistes , les bohèmes , les chefs cuisiniers , les mannequins , les musiciens , les entrepreneurs ,les blogueurs,  les fous , les rêveurs , les illuminés, les ambianceurs, les artistes… Nous sommes tous là, euphoriques, heureux, en même temps curieux et impatients. Notre groupe éclectique et atypique se fond à Saint-Louis la séduisante et l’authentique. Nous fusionnons avec la ville, spectateurs d’un défilé de mode bigarré et artistique mettant en scène la créativité de la mode sénégalaise. L’altière Princesse Esther Kamatari s’invite sur le podium pour inspirer quelques sourires aux mannequins. L’artiste mon ami et frère Franck Fanny en fait de même. La foule jubile, les fous rires et les applaudissements fusent. C’est ça le Forum ! De l’improvisation, du cœur, le don de soi , des rires et des sourires spontanés  . Les scripts ne sont pas figés, ils évoluent et s’inventent au cours du temps , en fonction des espaces, de l’énergie  .

« Et si nous allions en boîte ? »  Émet jovialement un ami grand juriste Dakarois  après le spectacle du soir. Nous sommes sortis retrouver  un grand banquier de la sous région á l’Iguane Café. L’esprit décomplexé et positif du Forum nous habite tous. Ceux qui sont habitués aux grands rendez-vous de ce monde ont ressentis la même chose : Saint-Louis a pris le lead d’une Afrique qui s’assume et s’impose, une Afrique qui met en avant ses talents, ses intelligences et ses émotions pour une transformation effective et profonde.

Le plus grand choc a certainement été l’ouverture du Forum avec la musique Mandingue d’Ablaye Cissokho et le talent théâtrale de Nathalie Vairac. La rupture s’est déclarée dès le début : Inhabituelle  et profonde. L’Afrique se montre telle qu’elle est sans fards dans sa multiplicité et sa richesse, poétique, artistique et talentueuse.

Au Forum il n’y a pas d’élitisme, pas de discrimination par l’âge où la fonction, il n’y a que la richesse de l’humain qui est mise en valeur. La ville nous fait la fête et défile pour souhaiter la bienvenue aux nouveaux Saint-Louisiens que nous sommes. L’énergie est débordante, le savoir est enrichissant. je reconnais ça et là Didier Acouetey, Jean-Louis Billon, Stan Zeze, Diane Audrey Ngako, Alain Nkontchou , Abdoulaye Coulibaly du Forum de Bamako, Fatou N’diaye de Black Beauty Bag, Ma copine Ouli Sarr, Mossadeck Bally, Franck Fanny, Sonia Rolland , Chef Coco , Chef Pierre Thiam, Fleur Pellerin ,Fatimata Ly … Le pari de Doudou est relevé haut la main, les panels sont riches, brillants et exceptionnels. L’expression est libre et libérée. je m’exalte, je m’abreuve, je m’interroge. Les idées reçues sont bousculées, les opinions s’entrechoquent, l’Afrique est repensé sans intellectualisme ni pédantisme mais avec générosité, humanité, authenticité et inclusion. Les panels sont passionnants et le format  interactif. Les panelistes sont en milieu de salle en symbiose avec l’audience. La ville nous enveloppe de son charme. La déco made in Sénégal de notre hôtel Keur Dada  nous émeut ma cousine Safiya et moi, bassang au sol, couvre- lit en basin, rideaux en thioup , andou thiouraye aux effluves de gowê et d’encens dès le matin ;Vue sur le fleuve au petit déjeuner et jus de fuis locaux faits maisons délicieux.  Les personnalités sont humaines, sans artifices, humbles et sympathiques. Le rêve de Doudou est devenu une belle réalité, émouvante et sincère. Au Quai des Arts, le concentré d’énergies créatrices et positives est énergisant. Les égos sont restés sur la route, PDG, ministre, Influenceurs et autres célébrités sont justes là abordables et disponibles, le regard curieux et enjoué….

Le Forum de Saint-Louis bouscule tous nos sens. En effet les grands chefs du continent sont présents : Je retrouve Pierre Thiam que j’avais rencontré à New-York en 2015 et revois Coco Reinharz mon cousin du Congo qui nous avait régalés lors d’une soirée de Gala mémorable au début du mois de Novembre l’Ile Maurice. Mamane, Gohou et Digbeu nous font rire aux éclats dès la première soirée.  Les rencontres sont belles, les conversations brillantes. Réunir tous ces talents divers qui font notre fierté c’est  un message d’espoir fort.

La magie du concert de clôture me donne encore des frissons de bonheur : Ray Lema et Manu Dibango ensemble pour l’apothéose du Forum. Le piano et le saxo pour des rumbas qui me rappellent ma ville d’adoption Kinshasa. Finalement Saint-Louis c’est l’Afrique, et quand Helmie, Benji, Ménélik, Ange Fandoh, Nancy Murillo , Ablaye Cissokho montent sur scène pour un bœuf final nous ne savons plus si nous devons rire où pleurer devant le trop plein d’émotions . L’histoire retiendra ces moments pour la postérité. Dernières soirées pour les derniers échanges qui jusqu’au bout furent généreux et édifiants. Il y a de la magie dans l’air au Cocktail chez Doudou .J’ai trouvé l’Afrique dont j’ai toujours rêvée dans la ville de mes aïeules, étrange coïncidence. Escales shopping d’abord chez la styliste Rama Diaw qui m’avait préparée 3 belles tenues chatoyantes et élégantes puis virée à l’Expo vente de mon amie d’enfance le joaillier Kareem Fadika. Une véritable caverne d’Ali Baba des bracelets en pierres semi précieuses à porter par 5 où plus , des bagues en pierres précieuses , des colliers aux couleurs chatoyantes où une équipe joyeuses de femmes de gouts se sont fait plaisir . Le Forum de Saint-Louis c’est aussi ça une plateforme d’expositions ouvertes aux créatifs.

Au retour sur Dakar avec mes aînés Maguette et Gaby Lopes, nous nous arrêtons au comptoir « Au fil du fleuve » pour un petit déjeuner pas ordinaire qui a réveillé tous nos souvenirs d’enfance au Sénégal. Bourakhe, Siddem, bouille, fonde, confitures exotiques de Papaye basilic et farandoles de goûts, une véritable expérience gastronomique matinale dans un cadre magnifique décoré avec des meubles dessinées par notre hôtesse. Marie-Caroline à elle seule est une légende Saint-Louisienne. J’y reviendrai un jour. La balade continue dans la ville. Nous nous arrêtons au musée de la photo qui lui aussi nous nourrit de ses belles surprises. Je me retrouve nez à nez avec moi même immortalisée par Joana Choumali dans sa série « Résilientes ». Un  vrai retour aux sources pour moi Domou Ndar Internationale. Encore moi,  debout à côté de Faty dans un cliché vintage Vintage de Malick Welli pris quelques mois auparavant à Saint-Louis. Je réalise que ce Forum est plus qu’une conférence pour moi, c’est un parcours initiatique, un voyage au bout de moi même, un retour aux sources plein d’émotions et de questions sans réponses. Merci Doudou pour ce rendez-vous magique et surréaliste. Je ne sais pas vous mais moi je suis une autre moi plus Saint-Louisienne et donc plus Africaine. A bientôt Ndar, Je reviendrai!

©Nabou FALL

To the hearts I have broken : please forgive me. 

​I spent so much time in pain dwelling  about heartbreaks & darkness in my soul. I cried out torn by an Insane love story in which I was the victim & the other was the eternal heartbreaker. Wait a minute!  Rewind…  How many hearts have I broken myself?  In the selfishness of my egotistical relationships drama do I ever think about those who may be the victims?  And you do you ever put yourself in the shoes of those you may have hurt.  Do you think about that guy who loved you that you tried loving and left just because you never fell in love with him? You remember his name?  Have you ever felt any compassion for his pain?  I didn’t. I just moved on carelessly & felt like I was right because I didn’t love him.  

What about that amazing guy who made a small mistake but you just couldn’t forgive him in the name of your misled & misplaced pride.  

You are not the only one worthy of forgiveness. 

So this it the other way round. They may call it Karma. I just call it life path.  That path is not easy to walk and we must not only be self centered & self conscious but we must also care about those who love us.  How many friends have we hurt knowingly or unknowingly?  Did we even try to understand the why & how? 

I tried to dig inside my selfish self & managed to remember the hearts I may have broken , torn or bruised:   Family members, friends or lovers?  It is not a very agreeable exercise but I realized it helps.  Hurting hurts & feeling uneasy about what we did confirms it wasn’t right. What doesn’t feel good and right is generally bad & wrong.  We are not just the result of our pains. We are also the product of our guilt trips.  To all the hearts I may have broken consciously or unconsciously FOrgive me as I am working towards self forgiveness. It is not about stating excuses or giving explanations but just about consciously acknowledging that I am not nicer than those who have hurt me.  I am also responsible for some pains & some people think about me as the person who killed their hopes at a given time in life.  I had to unlove them then for some reasons that seemed valid to me at that time.  Exactly the same way, those who hurt me had to do so to find their own peace of mind when it happened.  I replaced blame shifting ,  guilt tripping & remorses with responsibility. And here I am before the world finding peace in awareness & taking responsibility for hearts broken on my life path.  

Peace Love & Light.  It is never the end as long as you breathe. 

Be Empowered because you are powerful. 

Naboulove

12 ways to turn into your Husband’s best friend

You have reestablished  the sex drive between you & him. You are now the WIC (Wife in Charge) but please sister don’t brag , there is still a lot of work to be done. Bedroom is awesome, for now, but don’t relax yet. It’s like looking good ,you always have to work on some details that will make a big difference to the picture. Let’s do it. Being the “wife-mistress” is not enough. Your next challenge is turn into a “wife-mistress-best-friend”…  Since you are you married for better & worse, let’s work on having more better than worse. Are you ready?.  YES! NO? I can feel some doubting looks … Anyway I am not giving miracle recipes but just common sense life ideas. And if you want to enjoy the best of your husband, you have to work on yourself, your attitude, behavior & perception.  We are not in a Sweden kind of society & until further notice when things don’t go right, it’s better to go left than to complain… No be so? My Golden rules of friendship do apply but given the niche target (hubby) we need some little adaptations. So  ready? Set! Gooo!

“Do not think that love in order to be genuine has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies.” Mother Theresa

1-Spend quality  time together doing things that you both enjoy: simple things are the best: talk about a book, watch a movie, eat together at the same time & the same day ( this may sound stupid but it is not as common as we could think). Focus on the quality of the time spent instead of complaining on the quantity  on the rare occasions you see him. Isn’t that what we do with our friends. Enjoy the now moment. Catching up from where we left it?

2-Keep the link, be connected emotionally with each others. It goes through intimacy & patience, don’t let your couple drift away. Hold on to it. It’s not just about the ring. Be a woman who cares about him & his activities, he is not just a provider so be generous in giving up a bit of your old fashioned principles. It’s not a war , you are not fighting a battle & he is not your enemy. The only enemy is your ego. So speak up but with respect & don’t ever confront him in front of others, you share a bed for a purpose, do not humiliate him in public . be smart & strategic; Cultivate your low ego, in the name of love. Don’t you do it with your close friends?

3-Share your interests and your thoughts with him even if he is going to criticize, try to ignore his judgment & make him feel part of your life projects. Too often in fear of criticism or rejection we hide a lot to our partners & all they end up doing  the same & we both lose trust in each others. You don’t want him to hear about what you are planning outside of home, don’t you?

4-Listen to him til the end whenever he expresses an opinion, try at least, we women tend to jump on words & sentences before getting the whole story. Yeah that’s me I am talking about. Do as I say , don’t do what I do loool.

5-You owe loyalty to your man no matter what. The way you jump on people’s throat when your friends are criticized should be the way you defend him when your entourage attempts to talk about him. Too often we tend to make our issues public to just anyone ready to listen. Just shut up. Endure; Talk to a trusted elder ( preferably not from your families) , seek advice in a mature way but please be careful on how & to whom you are sharing with. Misinterpretation from a third party can damage your marriage.

6- He just did a big deal, made a certain amount of money, has some new projects, please girlfriend stop showing off to your girls by bragging about your husband’ s achievements. If he makes more money they will see it somehow, your man doesn’t want half of town to know about his professional business . So behave like when your friends tell you a secret. Be discreet. Your mum, sister ,etc. don’t need to know “All about Mr Hubby”.  show that you can be a trusted confident. Too often we tend to talk too much…

7-Understand & accept his silences , touch his hand, kiss his cheeks , hold him, instead of harassing him with inappropriate questions, he will tell you when he is ready. It’s not always about you so keep cool Madam.

8-Learn to anticipate his moods, you should know him better than anyone so watch out for those signs when he comes back home. It’s funny how we pay attention to our friends’ moods but ignore those of our life partner.

9-Have a laugh together, watch  a fun movie , crack jokes.Do have a fun moment together, Husbands would love to have fun with you.

10-Show Interest in his affairs even if you are not really. I know politics or finance can be quite boring issues but beside technical aspects you can use your feminine intuition to  advise him on human issues. Support his successes & failures . Be there emotionally in hard times instead of complaining or saying ‘I knew it’. It’s funny how we show more indulgence to other people whereas we just can’t stop criticizing our life partner. He needs a friend too. Who better than you can be that friend?

11-Think twice before you open your mouth. Stop thinking “he is my husband, I can say what I want or what can he do to me?… He is also a person & like your friends you should about his feelings too. A balanced compromise is the key to a successful relationship. Make sure you are objective & remember it’s not always about your selfish little person. (referring to my own experience & behavior here)

12-Nurture his soul with positivity, never stop encouraging him like a real friend would. Share quotes from the Quran, the bible or just uplifting quotes exactly as you do with your good friends.

And please use & abuse of healing words.

 “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” Mother Theresa

“Be empowered because you are powerful”

©Naboulove™

The Bite Of Envy

Ooh yesss you hate her for driving that Range Rover, you dislike her for carrying so carelessly her Hermes bag and wearing with so much elegance that diamond watch and the Chopard Jewelry set you always dreamt of. With your insane feminine curiosity, you are just wondering: Is she an escort sleeping with half of the government, did she inherit or is she just a hard working lucky bitch? you don’t want to really know what the truth is, isn’t it?  Curiously, the only thing you want to  acknowledge is how her presence makes you feel invaluable, transparent, non existing, anyway, to make a long story short, you are simply  envious!  And honestly  you got it all wrong gal! this is not the way to go. Envy is hateful, painful , self destructive and useless. Can’t you feel it? Can’t you see u are hating for free because the sister has no time for negative vibes around her?
It is time for you to slap yourself in the face and admit that you are totally wrong? Discharge yourself from all that emotional poison and mind your own business. As a matter of fact if you have felt that way for even a second in presence of a glittery rich hot looking babe then you have serious personal issues to deal with;  Yes madam envious bitch, it is not about her or others but only about  you. Why do you project your insecurities or others? It is you I am talking to. You who always look and want  what   others possess but you never appreciate what you are blessed with. Yes Lady, You who always wishes for what others have but never realize how much you have.


You keep on complaining about everything not realizing that the only satisfied souls are those who are 6 feet under. Stop the self-hate and your self destruction process coz all you are badmouthing about are your own lacks and shortcomings. Ooh you didn’t realize it! If you minded your own business, you would be aware of it. It is so easy to close your eyes to your failures and dissect others’. Just for the sake of envy. Hell no! It is time for you to take control of your destiny by minding your own business. You won’t know their lives until you walk in their shoes. You won’t have what they have until you do what they did to have it so relax and live your own life.
©Naboulove

One year later!!!

                             So much have been shared , said, developped , analyzed during the last 12 months & I have myself while searching , learned so much about love , life, myself & Africa. Realizing the depth of our culture, in regards to initiation, life changing experiences & the way they have been misinterpreted by the West. Yes we have a civilization & we had one long before the first explorer stepped his foot on Africa. Yes women had a strong role to play & still have but the introduction of  so called civilized customs tore apart many of our rights as keepers of traditions & secrets. I have discovered the strenght of Women secret societies  in various african countries , who struggle to survive until today. In spite of being called names such as witches, fetichists & else some women still keep alive their grandmothers teachings, & in Gabon I have always been impressed by the respect for the NDJEMBE of the Myènés women. I will develop more about these societies during the coming year in order to uncover the veil & clarify few things. I am not an anthropologist but a simple observer & student of life trying to penetrate some secrets & restore the name of my fellow African sisters. Yes women in africa had knowledge & power , but it got lost & melted through acculturation. Women in africa  knew secrets of healing herbs long time before phytotherapy. African women knew the protective power of Shea butter & Argan oil long time before you could find them at Boots or CVS pharmacy. African women have secrets on how to keep their men happy because they have been realistically confronted to polygamy since the ancient times. There are so many things to say in this matter & I will try to continue my search & share with you my discoveries.

Another thing I learned while doing this blog is cooperation, & I really appreciate all the input & insights from all my friends who generously shared their writings, opinions, ideas & poetry. Thanks again & may you continuously be blessed.

Thanks to the 44000 people who stopped by , & made a comment or not. You have encouraged me each day to continue in spite of my overbusy schedule . Take care & have a wonderful Naboulove year 2.

Naboulove