Naboulove power series 3:Exercise your unlimited power of choice

Exercise your unlimited power of choice

« Man’s power of choice enables him to think like an angel or a devil, a king or a slave. Whatever he chooses, mind will create and manifest » Frederick Bailes

Choice is a life defining factor, & a complex process hidden behind simplistic actions.  As a matter of fact each decision made – generally consciously- affect our lives in a minor or major way.  Each decisive questions’ answer is more like a verdict than a choice in a certain way.  Our selection often determinates our future in life. Should I marry him even though I don’t really love him but I want a husband? Should I resign to accept that job offer? Should I stay or should I go when I am in an unhealthy relationship? Choice is the factor that guides us through life’s labyrinth & either gets us stuck in confusion or get out of it. The power of choice lies in accepting its consequences & adapt along the way. The professional choices I made  have had a positive impact on my career & I don’t regret them.  But they took me far away from my roots, my culture, my family , my friends. The nomadic lifestyle inherited from my genes has become “the story of my life. Now I am sure you must think: why don’t you go back?  Because that decision itself needs a lot of reflection in my current life situation. And the process to make a decision about it is not soo simple. Am I ready to change country & start a life all over? Tough choice.

CHOOSING ACCORDING TO A  PROCESS

What do I have here?  What are my options?  What would be the consequences? Not only for me but for my children & for the people who work for me? Am I ready to live with the consequences of my choice. Can I be selfish & only focus on the positive for myself ,  versus the negative ways it could affect people around me..Can I handle the negative regardless of the positive outcome. Somehow I can can delay the decision but sooner or later I will not be in a position to ignore & proceed. There is a common example in Afirca that I love taking, it’s that it is not often that Generals take over in military coup. Captains are more spontaneous, they act & then they think. And they do succeed in becoming Heads of States even if it’s for a short time. If they had spent time like me measuring pros & cons, they certainly would have never done it. LOL…

So in the process, intuition, might beat logic & logic might stop you from reaching your life purpose & final goal. So think wisely , but don’t put too much rhetoric & mathematics in the procedure. But listen to your instinct. That little voice inside of us is one of our more valuable asset.  Other people’s advices can be interesting , depending who. Sometimes people who don’t know us can give us the best orientation because they talk with any prejudice. Anyway the final choice, the steps are yours to take, once you have integrated all data & digested them, the light “Eureka” will appear in front of you. Give a chance to the process, & exercise what psychologists  & philosophers call your free will.

I’ve realized that being happy is a choice. You never want to rub anybody the wrong way or not be fun to be around, but you have to be happy. When I get logical and I don’t trust my instincts – Thats when I get in trouble. Angelina Jolie

Free WILL an abstract notion

I smile when I reread the previous sentence. Our free will being conditioned by so many exogenous factors : our education, our family background , our religion, our  environment. But somehow the doers, those who contribute to the changes in the world, just follow their inner voice regardless of all the above cited. Galileo said that planet earth  was round when all the scholars then cursed him as heretic. The plane, the great discoveries we find so natural resulted from the persistence of men & women who often defied logic to follow their intuition … Even though their work was based on scientific researches. So we sure have control over our will power but do we really have free will ?

“At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice”. Maya Angelou

UNLIMITED POWER OF CHOICES

As human beings, we are endowed with freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibility upon the shoulders of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is our responsibility. Arnold J. Toynbee

Few lessons were learnt or should I say gathered throughout my so eventful little  life:

-No Choice is a choice.

-When destiny chose for me even if at first I was depressed it always ended up being a blessing in disguise.

– We live up with the consequences of our decision. And no matter what there are two points of view: It can be great to stay in bed but we shouldn’t be surprised if we can’t make ends meet. We made that choice. We can either decide to start or continue thinking about it…Between the idea & the reality , One step is action. Action resulting from a conscious choice.

-To see a glass of water half empty or half full is also up to us. So the lens through which we see life is up to us. Happiness is more a choice according to me. My personal opinion.

-Choice leverages change , it can be a short term or a long term one.

-There is a big difference between Action , Reaction & Status Quo.

-You can move with the flow or go solo, your power

-Beware of the seeds of your decision. The good or bad will vary from where it rooted: : love, anger ,fear ,frustration ,joy. Pleasure is not happiness . So YOUR CHOICE …

– The right or the wrong varies according to a point of view. Your point of view is what counts as long as it’s morally ethical. Sorry no free will when you want to commit unlawful act. Conscious rules. We are humans, we know what is right from what is wrong even though the wrong seems better for you.

–  Action is not only involved when you choose but also thoughts, feelings , vibrations & energy shift. They are variables that will affect your options. So meditate, rflect & think about it without being obsessed. You might be surprised the Choice will just pop up in your head.

LIFE= SUM OF CHOICES

What is life now? Our parents choices, our habits – automated unconscious choices- . If my mum never sent me to UK & US –almost against my will- for English summer sessions when I was a teenager, would I have written in English? Not sure. If my kids were not born in US would they be US citizens? So my mum chose for me & I chose for my kids & my life & their lives will be affected somehow by these choices. However to own your choices , to master them, nurture them, endorse wisely their consequences  creates a sense of responsibility . And we are powerful when we don’t let the past, circumstances, negative feelings or other people rob our right to chose regardless of the past.

Life is now stop waiting for that perfect moment that will never come to just do that choice. Always go for what you « want », and not what others « want » for you…Only you and not others will live with the it at the end of the day  🙂 And whatever your decision , There is always another choice… A word is enough for the wise.

“You’ve got the power”

“Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved”. William Jennings Bryan

©Naboulove

Can you handle the truth?

Can you handle the truth?

Every time I read here & there the idealization of truth as a token of love, I have a mitigated smile…let me explain: Your man or your woman comes home & sits then tells you: « Darling I have something to tell you ». Your heart is racing faster Usain Bolt, you are trying to look casual but in fact you are stressed, fearful as if a death sentence is about to befall on your head.

Then your life partner in a guilty sounding voice starts a long intricate unclear story in which all you understand is the : « it only happened once… » … Pain, doubts, hate, humiliation & even worse wrath because they had guts enough to throw the ugliness of their act to your face.

The then romantic promise  » we will never lie to each others » turns into a poisonous nightmare…

You don’t know what to do but one thing is sure « truth hurts » & really badly. Wd it hv been better to keep your doubts & bury your head in the sand like an Ostrich to avoid facing the facts. Or maybe hear it from the Professional gossip broadcasters? Or find out for yourself by accident…

But being spit out right here by the criminal who committed the offense is more than you can handle. It is a burning hot potato your hands just can’t hold. You are dealing with confusion, betrayal, heartache & total loss of direction. You can’t even remember if you even cried or cursed him/her pouring the kind of venom only deep pain can bring out.

Excruciating pain. You feel like the main character of a Nollywood drama. Unfortunately it is real life & it is your life…Or what is left of it.

So can you handle the truth? Are you sure you want to know it all since the truth is said to be the foundation for a trust based relationship. Think again. Did you really want to know?

Scorned? Free yourself from guilt & let the responsible one carry the burden of his misbehavior  without him or her assuming somehow that confessing will fade the lie away. Just like that… Think again. Are you ready for the naked truth? Can you bear its consequences? Don’t lie to yourself…

Be empowered because you are powerful?

©Naboulove