Single African woman survival kit (4)

My little list of survival tools you might want to use to flow comfortably through the waves of our oppressive societies.


  • Try not to counter argue criticisms, mockery or sarcasms. Some people just need to find faults in others to feel good & feed their insecurity. Their words will only have the power you give them.
  • Do your best not to fall into the pressure trap, panic, anxiety & pressure can lead to making the wrong choices. Whatever your spiritual orientation is just keep faith. His plans are bigger than your doubts. And he is the Creator, All-known & Almighty. Once you surrender your fears & turn them gradually into faith, you will feel so good.
  • Feel sadness or regrets when you contemplate Fatima & Ronke’s life: wives, CEO, Mothers…some seem to have it all. Yes they SEEM only. And thank God for his blessings upon you. If you weren’t blessed with life, health, eyes etc. you wouldn’t be reading this… And they are your friends & you love them. It’s better to have a bunch of happy fulfilled friends anyway.
  • Have sex for sex if you can’t manage your emotions…you can buy a dildo if it’s just for the thrill or fast whenever you have that urge… spiritual, health benefits of fasting is proven…If someone just proposes casual sex just advise him to go to hookers, they will be cheaper for him. 🙂
  • Rush into the next guy who proposes “Do you want to marry me?” Reply: Do I look like I believe in Fairytales? Unless you have known him & share a romantic past together.
  • Fall in the arms of the guy who sings a love song to you (Hello is it me you’re looking for? I can see it it your smile , I can see it in your eyes– If he can’t do the Lionel Richie Voice don’t even bother-LOL…)… , take your time before you tag him Mr right. A man ready to commit might not be right for you. Open your eyes, ears & get to know him (at least find out about his mother before you take the ring…in law management can be more challenging than the rest in Africa)
  • Reject Aziz the nice guy just because he is too nice (female paradoxal masochism) .. Give him a chance (I didn’t say in bed though). Get to know him before you play your Diva. By the way how long have you been single for?
  • Lower your standards to accept a cheater , liar & thief in your life just because you want a mate …


  • Nurture your yin & your yang , by enjoying the company of your male friends &/or family (brothers, cousins, childhood friends..)  in order to refresh your views & enlighten your  perspectives on the Male nation.
  • Enlarge your social circle, quit tribalism please or nationalism, racism (all those African plagues)… The world is like 3 billion male human beings, there must be one for you somehow. Even if you target 0,01% you still have a very large choice.
  • Invest your time in working to ensure your financial stability as well as working out to improve your health
  • Create an awesome relationship with yourself: eat better, exercise, learn that foreign language,
  • Get in touch with your roots: visit  your village you have never been to, learn about your family history, your customs… Knowing where you come from will help you understand yourself better.
  •  Improving your spiritual life & learn how to reach that inner feeling of self fulfillment. (nothing to do with ego )
  • Understand that your life, your destiny  is unique not a photocopy . It is yours to live don’t allow anyone to come & give you lessons or force you into things you are not ready for. Let your purpose manifest itself & believe me it can be greater than just having a man in your bed. And the right guy might just help you manifest it …Insha Allah.
  • If like my friend Ronke you have the dress & the invitation cards ready then you might want to update (fashion & trends move fast lately.LOL)
  • Anything that makes you feel good , really good for you & not for just the sake of looking socially correct. I wonder who sets the standards…
  • Review your standards if they seem really unrealistic (The guy with Bill Gates Money, Denzel Washington looks, Einstein’s brain , etc.etc. is not born yet).


And now let’s sing together:

« Oh no not I, I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love, I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live
And I’ve got all my love to give
I’ll survive
I will survive
Hey hey… »

“Be empowered because you are powerful”©


The END.

Une réflexion sur « Single African woman survival kit (4) »

Votre commentaire

Entrez vos coordonnées ci-dessous ou cliquez sur une icône pour vous connecter:


Vous commentez à l’aide de votre compte Déconnexion /  Changer )

Photo Google

Vous commentez à l’aide de votre compte Google. Déconnexion /  Changer )

Image Twitter

Vous commentez à l’aide de votre compte Twitter. Déconnexion /  Changer )

Photo Facebook

Vous commentez à l’aide de votre compte Facebook. Déconnexion /  Changer )

Connexion à %s