16 to 30

16-Your fantasies involve your houseboy , your driver or the gardener… Don’t fall into the Gaby sin. Actually most of your romantic escapes are daydreams. Sad. Tie him & rape him. Unless you have other ideas but do something before it’s too late.

17-You have become an expert pastry maker , a home seamstress & a daycare specialist..without getting paid for it. Time to think about either becoming a work at home mum or find a way of leveraging your new expertise.

18– You are sick with the paranoid bitch syndrome. Your single or married sisters & friends have become the “unusual” suspects who want to wreck your couple. Give us a break , you are not married to Brad Pitt or Idriss Elba. Chill. REGAIN CONFIDENCE in yourself.

19– You just realize that you are sleeping next to a perfect stranger: you have reached the point where you live 2 separate lives. Your husband crack jokes & has fun with everybody but you Time to create an intersection. Before the parallel becomes infinite.

20Shopping has become the most exciting pleasurable  activity of your superficial universe. Don’t stop spending as long as it’s not your money otherwise…

21– In order to escape reality or give a sense to your frustration, You bury yourself in spirituality. Every time you talk , it is a prayer , quoting the Bible or the Quran. The Devil/Shaytan’s influence  seem to be everywhere in your home (you need a scapegoat right?). Or  you become a Juju expert , always looking for the latest Malam , babalawo or fortune teller believing they will put an end to your problems (someone did a curse on you of course). Cut the crap; save your money. Pray God but also work on yourself.

22-You don’t know who is Lady Gaga; mamma mia everybody knows Lady Gaga. Get out of that house asap .

23-You criticize, complain just about anything & everything sounding like a BB bitter babe not Blackberry in this case. Stop comparing your life to others , the grass ain’t greener on the other side of the fence. If you are becoming envious of those around you who seem to be happier , girl you are on the road to insanity. Count your blessings instead of counting other people’s blessings.

24Where are your sexy underwear? Lingerie, lace, silk, you remember what it is? No you don’t. You wear them for yourself baby & nobody else.

25– Are you living in an illusion of perfection like Bree just to cover the fact that  your life is a  mess  you have created alone.  Time to face the reality & fix that mess since it’s yours.

26– Have you turned into a nosy gossip minding other people’s business to forget the pathetic world around you? Susan get out of that body! Even worse if you repeat all your friends’ secrets around. Sister , you need serious exorcism.

27-Sometimes you just hate your kids, your life, your husband & your normal life. Stop blaming the world  Gaby &  accept the fact that you have to work on things to make them better. And if you don’t like your life , just try to go , someone will quickly wear your shoes. Hmmm

28-Lately ,you yourself in tears whenever a romantic song plays or whenever you watch a love movie & read a romance Novel. I assume you also cry in bed when you don’t get that expected hug. Romeo & Juliet were born in Verona. Not you. Real relationships are not fairytales or fictions so whatever it is that is making you over sensitive , work it out before it becomes a nervous breakdown.

29-you have a very active social lifeon social medias without leveraging on your online presence for a business . All you do is sending indirect messages to your husband , or you blame the whole male nation. Babe talk to Hubby, before someone reports your statuses to him (we all know spies are all over our facebook, twitter, bbm lists).

30-Noooo GDP (Gross Domestic Product)  is not what you produce at home. Stop everything & google it…read newspaper once in a while, there is a whole world outside of your home.

“Be empowered because you are powerful”



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