30 WARNINGS YOU ARE A DESPERATE AFRICAN HOUSEWIFE:(1)

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1-You haven’t been outside of home in a face to face with your man in the last 6 months (1 month is manageable, 3 months is worrying & 6 months is a catastrophe in the making) … You remember what a romantic dinner is? Or has it become science-fiction to you?

2-You share your living space with bitter , sour & wicked in laws who always have a say about the food you cook, the dress you wear, the way you raise your kids… You need to either start a new business by opening an in law concentration camp, move out or practice Buddhism. Before you commit a crime.

 3-You & Mr  hubby live in separate towns or countries but  when you get the chance to be in the same place at the same time, He is just too busy to be with you… His excuses: his friends, exercising, his mother, his brothers, the new house he is building for you…  and where do you stand amidst that busy life?

4-Like Lynette , you have traded a brilliant career for “housewifing” 24/7 , you feel more & more frustrated  as your MBA’s main use is for  domestic management. Time to make a move. Start a home based business or become a trader…But please do something before you have a nervous breakdown.

5-Your older sister looks 10 years younger than you…Maybe you should start thinking about Botox if you can’t take advantages of the gift of life & see the world through a positive lens. Something is definitely wrong if you don’t recognize the girl in the mirror. “Shake it up baby…Twist & shout, come on come on baby..come on & let it all out” whatever it is stress, frustration, too much food , just get rid of it.

6-You only know 2 positions in the Kama Sutra: the missionary & the missionary…woohoo you are in trouble, maybe time to bring in a pole dancer like Gaby…lool. Or leave a Kama Sutra Illustrated open on your husband’s bedside…

7-Your last romantic getaway was with the whole clan in the village, for a relative’s graduation, christening  or for Umrah…  do you know what a revival honeymoon is??  Follow him –without kids- on his next business trip. Do or Die attitude, never without you.

8– You know you have 10 kg to lose or to add. And you wear clothes that neither fit your body nor your age. Are you sure you are not too skinny or too fat for these tight jeans or that top??? Look at the woman in the mirror twice

9-He never goes with you to visit your family members whereas you have to bear his own on every occasions. Unfair isn’t it? Life is unfair, accept it or change it.

10– Your hair color & hairstyle have changed 10 times in the last 4 weeks & he didn’t notice anything. He is either blind, or you are truly desperate. Try a piercing on your tongue maybe he will feel it since he doesn’t seem to see.

11-He calls you knowing you are in a  professional meeting to ask where you kept his underwear ? WTF?

12-He keeps on criticizing everything you do or  you find everything he does annoying & irritating…. The only time you have a peaceful conversation is when you talk about kids or serious family matters. counseling time is up or African mediation call it how you want but you need help. It’s not a white people’s issue only.

13-You are a married single mother handling all home related issues alone . Do you need a husband really?

14-Your husband  gives you ridiculously low food allowances meanwhile  you are not allowed to do any side biz or work. Maybe he wants you to become a thief then…

15-You know all the tv shows by heart…from Desperate housewife to Sex & the City, Soap operas, Brothers & sisters, etc… Not talking of your Bollywood movie collection & your Nollywood Obsession. Girl get a life, you are sinking into fiction.

to be continued…

“Be empowered because you are powerful”

©Naboulove™

 

 

4 réflexions sur “ 30 WARNINGS YOU ARE A DESPERATE AFRICAN HOUSEWIFE:(1) ”

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