…I just called to say how much I care. Which woman doesn’t dream of hearing the man in her life (luckily & hopefully the same who is in her heart) whisper softly these lyrics in her ears? Mmm. I have hoped , waited , dreamt of it, carelessly romantic. After hours of debates, my friends and I reached to the following conclusion: those who tell you too easily » I love you » after one or two days could be just infatuated or in lust with you. But not always though … – giving some romantic dude out there the benefit of the doubt-.
He never says I love you
Truth of the matter being that our African male will cherish you, feed you, provide for you , guaranty you with a roof over your head, make sure you are well dressed, in short will take care of you properly. He will show you how important you are to him in many ways but before he tells you the 3 words , 8 letters that you expect you will have to wait. Generally in our various African cultures, parents didn’t teach their kids how to express & show love. How many of our parents were telling us I love you or how many dads did we witness saying the “I love you “ to our mothers. Yeah , yeah, very few indeed. So what should you do? Claim for it? Cry? Beg? None of the above is a valid behavior. Men are not as expressive as we are. they will show us their love in a million way but they won’t tell us the « I love you » we fantasize about.Are we just childish? The best attitude is to enjoy the signals and testimonies of love he sends towards you. And please stop questioning yourself about whether he loves you or not. A man doesn’t go out of his way for a woman he doesn’t care about. Deep down in your heart you know the truth about his feelings, so chill!
Shoud I tell him instead?
Yes. Relax and tell him. Unlike us, they need to be reassured constantly. So if you love him and feel like telling him, talk to him. Don’t hold it in the name of « he never tells me I love you ». You are powerful because you express freely your love. And a loving woman is attractive and sexy – I am not talking about stalking but loving-.
As everything else in life practice the rule of balance: By learning to know your life partner, you will evaluate the best moment to say it:
– certainly not in a midst of a great exciting soccer game
– Not when he is in an animate conversation with his friends
– Not when his mind is busy sorting some business issues
– Anytime you feel he needs confort -Whenever you enjoy some quality time
-In the mornings before he leaves for work
-after an argument ( its depends though if the issue has been sorted)
Don’t be to repetitive or harassing, and remember that you chose to be together because of a strong bond called love. Love means respect for each other not submission or slavery. #Just saying coz some sisters think that calling him every other second to tell him « baby l love you », will show him that no woman can love him as much as you do and therefore keep him. As much as I have noticed excess of « lovism » can become annoying too. Don’t stare at me like that? The rule of balance means saying the right thing, at the right time and the right way. So if you want to tell him you can also be creative and make the most of the technologies at our disposal:
– a short meaningful text message
-an email in the middle of the day
-a black berry messenger
-a classic handwritten note or card slipped in his briefcase
-a post it on the bathroom mirror
And any other media (ways lol) you can think of
-a compilation of beautiful love songs
As simple as « I love you « can be, you don’t have to say it as it is all the time. so get out of your way, even with the content of your message:
– share a love quote with him
– make a beautiful prayer for him
-write him a love letter
-remind him wonderful time spent together filled with love
-show him love (learn from him because African men know how to show love when they are hooked for real)
Don’t feel bad or sad if he doesn’t react to your words , it doesn’t mean he didn’t appreciate it but he is just an African man with different values. He might not react like Richard Gere in pretty woman but he loves you otherwise he wouldn’t wake up next to you every morning!
So enjoy the love signs and show him how much you love him.
Keep on Loving