There is a new glow on your face, your eyes are shining, you irradiate happiness, smiling for no reason, unlike the 6 previous months. It seems like you have a man in your bed oooh sorry I meant in your life! The magic and the spark of a new relationship is showing all over your face. Please Madam leave the moon for a second, Stop floating on your fantasy filled cloud & come back to reality , wake up before you repeat the mistakes of the past and take action so that you don’t fail to achieve a solid relationship. Once the magic fades. It is like in a marathon, you should set the pace from the start in order to find the rhythm that will keep you fit and running on a long distance. So before it’s too late, set the right pace not to miss the start of your fresh relationship. I gathered this list from my personal experience, as well as from exchanging with friends from both genders. Feel free to enrich if you feel something is missing. So here we go:
1-set clear rules outlining the limits for each of you
2-express your expectations with words (your wants and needs)
3- say it when you are unhappy
4-start what you can finish (if you cook chef dinner every day you can never go back so beware!)
5-listen to your heart (don’t shut your inner voice, your feminine intuition has a way of sending signals you shouldn’t underestimate)
6-you are in love then show appreciation (it is not about saying I love you every second though)
7-only show your good side (if you stay together long enough if he will your other side)
8-Concentrate on his good side but keep an eye on eventual unacceptable traits (physical abuse , serial cheater…)
8-be a woman of interior ( create a homely cosy atmosphere)
9-have listening ear ,observing eyes and a shut mouth (best way to know him better)
10-anticipate his needs and wants (don’t overdo it though be moderate and balanced in your ways)
11-first time sex might not be good so don’t judge or give up, learn to know each other sexually
12-don’t show to much independence, let him be in charge, don’t be afraid to need him
13-Don’t let your world revolve around him! Live your life outside the « two of you ».
14-give him some space (don’t call him every hour please!)
15-don’t accept the unacceptable (you deserve respect)
16-don’t leave a third party in between you (already have communication issues?)
17-don’t rush to meet his mother or introduce yours yet ! (Wait a month at least)
18-be a reliable woman, a man needs a supportive partner, I didn’t say be his slave though!
19-don’t show up untidy or messy
20-keep your feminine secrets (who cares about your vaginal discharges and your pill history?)
21-don’t disclose your friends’ dirty secrets ( he might believe yours are equally dirty)
22-Don’t let him control you emotionally, financially or physically &don’t be controlling
23-stop pretending you don’t care when it hurts, either you say it or you get over it if you keep silent
24-forget about your ex’s and don’t mention him/them (this might be used against you in a near future)
25-give him the benefit of the doubt unless proven otherwise
27-remember: you are not always write on everything so cut the crap once in a while.
28-let him feel he controls things while u are the master of the game
29-Never ever humiliate him in public ( or even in private), address your issues to him in a mature way
30-Don’t move in or let him move in..
31-stay away from shower cap, face mask, grandma style wrapper when he is around if it works out you will have a lifetime to show your natural self
32-learn to respect his silence, you don’t have to fill the space it with words all the time (Still working on that one myself)
33-listen more than you talk
34-Don’t nag or complain… yet
35-let go off fear, if you did your best and he goes then he just doesn’t deserve you so cry a day or two and move on
No matter how far you have gotten in your relationship , it is never too late to try to fix oneself and improve the current state of your love affair. Pick whatever item that might apply to your current situation and make the shift. What it takes is just to accept as Ghandi states it so well » to be the change you want to see in the world ». Even though things are always wonderful in the start never lose sight that « the same causes create the same effects », so Lady it is time to take the bull by the horn and make this work!