More About Sex In Islam
Information taken from Questions and Answers About Women’s Rights In Islam, Compiled by Lea Zaitoun
The Right to Adequate Sexual Relations
Since the purpose of marriage is to be a mutual source of comfort, peace, and enjoyment for each other, like a garment that protects and covers, the sexual aspect of marriage is an extension of this. The husband is asked to be gentle, considerate and loving with his wife, and to try to satisfy her needs.
The wife must reserve herself exclusively for her husband, and make efforts to be attractive, as well as making herself available to him whenever he is in need of her. This latter obligation also applies to the husband.
In Islam, any sexual relations are reserved EXCLUSIVELY for the confines of marriage. Both husband and wife are also obligated to honor the privacy of the intimate relations between them, and should not speak of them to anyone.
The Prohibition of Sex when She is Menstruating
It is forbidden for a Muslim man to have sexual intercourse with his wife when she is menstruating. The Quran is clear on this subject:
« They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). And when they have purified themselves, then go in unto them as Allah has ordained for you (go in unto them in any manner as long as it is in their vagina)… » (Al-Baqarah 2:222)
The Prohibition of Sodomy
Allah (SWT) will not look at the man who commits sodomy with a man or a woman (reported in Sahih Al-Tirmithi (Al-Baaniy) Vol. 1 No. 341).
Malik related to me that he asked Ibn Shihab about someone who committed sodomy. Ibn Shihab said,
« He is to be stoned, whether or not he is muhsan. » (Reported in Malik’s Muwatta)
It is forbidden for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her anus. Allah (SWT) says in the Quran:
« Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth (have sexual relations with your wives in any manner as long as it is in the vagina and not in the anus), when or how you will, and send (good deeds, or ask Allah to bestow you pious offspring) before you for your ownselves. And fear Allah, and know that you are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give good tidings to the believers [O Muhammad (SAW)]. (Al-Baqarah 2:223)
What is understood from the above verse is that a tilth can only refer to a place where something might grow. Therefore, what is meant here is the entry which produces children.
Other sayings of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) on the subject:
« He is cursed who has anal intercourse (with his wife). » (Reported by Ibin Maja)
« Whoever has sexual intercourse with a menstruating woman, or woman in her anus… has disbelieved in that which was revealed to Muhammad (SAW). » (Reported by Al-Tirmithi)
It can not be stressed too strongly that even animals do not satisfy their sexual urges in this unnatural way. Human beings who are guilty of sodomy are, thus, even lower than animals.
Purification between 2 acts of Sexual Intercourse
In Islam, when a husband has had sexual intercourse with his wife in the legal manner, and then wishes to return another time, it is preferable that he first performs another ablution (wudu).
Meaning: it is better if he does not commence sexual intercourse in an unclean physical state. In the words of the Prophet Muhammad (SAW):
« This way is purer, cleaner and better. » (Reported by Abu Dawud)