Making Love And Relationships Work For You by Orimadegun Shakeerat Taiwo
“Love doesn’t make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile. » – Elizabeth Browning
People go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others. There is no extra special relationship, none has a rare ability to do better than others. We are all just trying.
And yes we are all differnt in our approach to making it work. Because some go to extra effort to understand, develop and explore what they have. They read books, they investigate, and they put great effort into knowing and understanding what works and what doesn’t work for them. They know what is good for them so they consciously feed on it and practice it.
They know there is no limit to the fun, joy excitement and enjoyment they can experience, they understand marriage and relationship cannot be left to mere chances. You really must work on it. They are aware that there are laws governing relationship and the outcome of that results. It is called the law of sowing and reaping. Some people want to sow the wrong things and still expect things to be wonderful, some want to walk in ignorance yet hope things will work out just fine. The truth is you get what you think you deserve.
We have the need to be accepted and to be loved by others, but we cannot accept and love ourselves. You must know that the more self-love we have, the less we will experience self-abuse. Self-abuse comes from self-rejection, and self-rejection comes from having an image of what it means to be perfect and never measuring up to that ideal. Our image of perfection is the reason we reject ourselves the way we are, and why we don’t accept others the way they are.
Though love is a tricky thing. One must distinguish between what the mind says and what the heart says, and then we must decide which to follow. I must point out here that people who listen to their minds consider themselves the wiser ones. But the people who are led by their hearts are the luckier ones. If you look for love, you will find it but if you deliberately look for an obstacle to love, you will also find that too; the choice is yours. But if u painstakingly search for love. You will definitely see that too.
However you must know that there is no limit to the joy, the romance, the victory you can experience. God created every relationship to excel. Work with God and he will show you how. Be ready to learn from others what you don’t know. It’s important for you to remain empowered so that you don’t make choices out of need or desperation. If you remain empowered enough to claim what’s yours, remain true to your identity, and advocate for your dreams relentlessly, you will surely get it.
Some points to work on:-
1. You have a great role to play, in bringing out the great potentials within your relationship. You need to know them, develop them and use them to the full.
2. You need to know the importance of self loving, remember loving come from within.
3. You must understand and see love and relationship as they are and not what you what you want them to be.
4. You can never have everything on a platter of gold. Though every person is entitled to choose the path which works for them.
5. You must not emphasize on looks or sex appeal because looks can be deceptive. People only want to see the substances you are made of, not looks without self respect or brain.
6. You should equate loving to happiness, so the more you want to be happy, the more love you should exude.
7. You need to know the importance of setting clear boundaries and when you say NO, meant it. Never settle for less.
8. You must learn to make a good friendship out of your partner, always remember friendship is the food to a good relationship.
9. You must understand and know what you really want out of the relationship.
10. You must always remember that anything worth achieving is worth working for.
11. You get what you believe you deserve. So have high targets.
12. You must redefine what you are worth and what you stand for.
13. You need to know the difference between want and need.
14. You must share same values and ideas, your want, needs and interest must go through one channel.
15. You must make things happen, bear in mind that wishing for something to happen and working toward making it happen are two different thing. So set the ball rolling.
So the bottom line is that is only you that knows what is good for you and what is not. So make a choice now and start living and loving. And lest I forget always know that there is absolutely joy in loving and being loved in return. Make it work and make it last.