Why would you date a Nigerian?? By Bunmi Fasehum

nigerianManWhy would you date a Nigerian??

When I first embarked on this article, I contemplated on what I would write, if I was not a Nigerian but willing to date a Nigerian. I took my mind to an overdrive of 180%, and I pondered on the question, would I seriously date a Nigerian? I wondered and I reminisced on the way the Western Media portrays Nigeria and her Subjects, the Nigeria culture, the way of life, the government of Nigeria, and my mind went berserk, What the world comprehends and believes of Nigerians, are alarming and scary, it scares me and it frightens, it seems we Nigerians are now caged in an unseen prison by the world and Western Media.

There is nowhere you will venture, in any part of our globe, once you have the green Passport; you are mentally and automatically labelled, no matter how decent and educated you might appear… We are being killed off by the Western Media, propaganda on its own planet. I am scared for Nigerians, and I am scared of Nigeria.

Why would I date a Nigerian? As a Nigerian by parentage, I have been sub consciously taught I should stick to people from my own country and that includes the choice of men I date and those were my perceptions too, whilst growing up. The beliefs of dating outside my race never crossed my mind, I have always wanted a good Nigerian man, who I could be romantic with, someone who would be the romantic character in my Mills & Boons, but hey, fantasy and realities are two different things, I learnt the hard way.

I would date a Nigerian, because of the culture and perhaps languages. I love Nigerians and I take pride being a Nigerian (when no one is looking). I will not blab to you on how I Represent Nigeria or how much I love Nigeria, however, you will see it in my actions. Nigerian men are very desirable men, they are mostly men of honour and dignity, to have one as a king in your home, is a joy to cherish, I know you are all probably thinking, “yeah right”! But that is the honest truth; I adore Nigerian men.

Further, even though the genesis of my adulthood started in England, I still crave for everything Nigeria, by now, one would think I would have gotten used to men of different colours and races, except it is not the case, there is just something which is magnetic about Nigerian men, they remind me of King Pharaohs, they are alluring and they shout masculinity, those qualities enchants me to Nigerian men.

When I was researching this article, my thoughts were, I would make myself the case study, and my phone rang, it was my friend, Jordan. Jordan is a Nigerian girl; from Cross River, Jordan is one lady who is very upfront and direct in her approach to people and life. I picked up my Cell phone from my organised table and smiled when I saw her name flashing on my Cell phone, I thought, yes, this is it, this is the answer, Jordan, would have one or two things to say, as she always has an opinion on everything. “Jordan”, I squealed into my Cell Phone, “how are you darlink?” She said, “Fine”, and I conveyed the topic, I said, “Jordan darlink (I call my dear friends “darlink”), Why would you date a Nigerian?” She laughed and said “Bunmi, you mean, why would I not date a Nigerian?” We both giggled and she replied, “Bunmi, if I had my way, I would date and marry a Nigerian, but as you can see, there are not that many responsible Nigerian men in London, they do not suit the image I have of men when I was growing up” I sighed in a delirious manner and tickled her brain, “what do you mean? I asked, in my most calming voice, “You mean you cannot date a Nigerian guy?” She retorted “Bunmi, are you deaf? I said I can’t date a Nigerian, as I find the men rude and uncultured” Jordan, now reminded me I should not forget she was married to a white man, “oh”, I said.

Jordan is one lady who epitomises strong, black and beautiful, she has beauty and grace, however, she has always been unlucky were men are concerned, Jordan, had her first son at the age of eighteen years old, to a married Nigerian man, who vouched he would never have anything to do with her son, and he never did, I think it tore Jordan’s heart to little Ices, ices that refused to melt in her heart.

Throughout my conversation with Jordan on the Phone, I felt sadness in her voice and the echoing of her voice revealed the emotional sadness in her heart, she kept pausing to each of her comments and it occurred to me, I had touched a raw nerve in Jordan, I muttered something about dashing to the shops and that I would call her back. After the Phone call with Jordan, I took a deep breath, and wondered into obscurity, I thought about my own life, Jordan’s life, the tramp down the road, name it, I even thought of George Bush masturbating on the news that Saddam Hussein would be hanged, such were my emotional overdrives of my thoughts.

On a more serious note, would I date a Nigerian? Let’s assume I was white and I wanted to date a black man, would I date a Nigerian? It would occur to me, I was alienated to the Nigerian culture and the people at large. It would play on my heart strings, my ignorance of Nigerians and their ways of life, except what the Western Media manipulation portrays of Nigerians, which are mostly diabolical news. The culture would play a major part. for the relationship to stay afloat, which means sharing both cultures, which in itself is knowledge, a lot would be gained from dating a Nigerian man, as a white or black woman, as most Nigerian men are gallant and generously endowed in some areas.

Bringing back the scenario of a Nigerian woman, would I date a Nigerian man? I think I would, I don’t know any other men order than Nigerian men, to me, I find men from other countries Aliens, I find them strange. I could not imagine waking up in the morning and not speaking to my guy in Yoruba, Igbo or Hausa. As I write, I shiver at the thought of cooking a good stew of Eforiro, Egusi, Jollof Rice, Ogbono and my foreign guy not appreciating my food. I love to see my man finger licking at my scrumptious Nigerian cuisines, and I know such imaginations of seeing my guy loving my Nigerian cuisines will not happen with a foreign man, but true love conquers all, so they say.

©Bunmi Fasehun.

Une réflexion sur “ Why would you date a Nigerian?? By Bunmi Fasehum ”

  1. Nigerians are physically fine and beautiful, with a very STRONG cultural beliefs ,easily clashing with other cultures. Nice, lovely girls, anyway 1

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