Break-up or Start-up? by NabouLove

Break -up or Start-up?

Part one: Break-up.

Tears of sorrow and bitterness, pain, anger, humiliation , that is what you are feeling down deep inside: You have been dumped, erased, avoided, left by a man you praised, loved, cherished! Yes!!! YOU ; the beauty Queen, sexy in Black, the cutie pie , Miss “Am so sure of myself” a.k.a “Super Executive Lady”… It shook you like an unexpected earthquake; you still haven’t realized it’s real.

Not a single sign of distress, everything seemed so perfect between you and Mr “Fiancé to be”. You are reviewing events in your head, the dinner you had together few days ago in the latest French Gastronomy restaurant followed by a night to remember, foreplays, orgasms, pleasure, everything was on top. And now blank. No news, no calls. Your emails, text messages, phone calls neither are answered to nor returned. You attempted a visit to his office, where his secretary told you with a funny look on her face (like someone had died in your family) that Mr Z, your Fiancé to be, went on a short trip to Abuja. Same reaction & answer from his houseboy, when you swallowed the little pride you had left in stock to go to his home.

Hundreds of questions going through your mind: WHY? Why doesn’t he call me? Why does he avoid me? Why this? Why that?  WHAT? What did I do wrong? What happened to our relationship, to us? What the hell is going on? Endless what? How? How come I didn’t notice anything? How can he treat me like that? How..?

Question mark

You then decide to call his sister looking for answers. She sounds even more shocked than you and adds to your pain. She is surprised as the day before he left on his mission, she was teasing him about you , & he told her that he will soon make the big jump! Your hope is revived. Maybe he is playing Mr. Big in Sex & the City stepping back a little? Comforted by her words, you re-text, re-call, re-mail, re-phone, still Nothing. No answer, just a big silent hole. In your life  & in the middle of your heart. You are heartbroken, about to lose your mind, somewhat lost in translation.

In all that confusion (internal), you forgot to question his best Buddy, so once again you put your pride aside, and call. No answer. Just a text back: “Excuse me dear, am in a meeting” your reply: a depressed “ok”. Your thoughts are wandering again and tears are rolling down your cheeks while questions are harassing your mind once more : “Why is life so unfair?”, After the what happened , how could he do that to me and why is this happening to me,  you are getting to the “ what did I do wrong?”; “ I am worthless”, you are now about to loose your self esteem. Lady you didn’t do anything wrong at all,  your vision of the relationship you had with Mr coward –too afraid to face you- was blurred by LOVE ( and at times love is blind, isn’it?).

Now , what’s next? You call your sistafriend, tell her the story, cry all your tears, spite all your venom (yes!!! you have become a scorned woman), and more tears. You can’t call your parents, they didn’t really like that dandy, smoothie, velvety, too good to be true. Remember? The first time Mum met him she told you he smelled sooo fake. From that day, you never gave her another chance to meet him alone unless in a large family gathering or big events. No, no, no. You refuse to go to work tomorrow. You call your office and search for all the Leonidas, Mars, M&M’s, ice cream or junk food you can find and you start stuffing yourself like a goose whilst crying in front of pretty woman , that you have been watching for the 200th time, and cry again….

To be continued

©Nabou Love 2009

sad_black_woman_dreads

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