AFRICAN MEN WILL CHEAT by Pamela Stitch

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Could Your Man Be Cheating?

 

I know a couple of men started muttering when they came across this topic: “what is up with Pamela and these kinds of topics?”. Yes, I know I have approached this topic from several tangents in different write ups -”men like wolves, small house problem etc”. But, I realized, that there is still a lot more I have to say about this. Maybe, this will be my last write up on this, who knows? Okay, maybe till I come across something that ticks me off. Last week, I got a chance to talk to a guy friend of mine who I had lost contact with in years, and he let it slip that he knows that his daddy was cheating on his mother. I remember being in shock at the blase way he mentioned it. I know African men cheating in most of their love/lust relationships isn’t a new thing but the tone that this was mentioned, made me realize that to many African men – CHEATING IS NOT A BIG DEAL! Having to deal with this onslaught of emotions, I decided that I need to discuss this with my co host and friend on radio. Bringing my co host – Mwangi on and chatting with several Africans who were logged on, I realized that these two rules seem to be quite true of our men:

a) African men WILL CHEAT.

b)There is a cultural expectation for these men to cheat, as there is a cultural expectation for African women to forgive them and take them back.

At first, I was in shock at this feedback, because I am being told that as women, I should not expect simple givens like trust and ‘fidelity in a truly ‘committed’ relationship. So, my question really, if the situation were the reverse, “should I expect my man to be blase about it?”. Yes, I can hear the chuckles of some of the men at that statement. We know men will not put up with a cheating partner. I would have taken this further and called for an open relationship but that is a topic for another day.

Let’s deal with the basic question: Why do African men cheat?

a) simple answer: because they can and they can get away with it.

b) complicated answer: because they want to explore something extra, greed, insecurity.

Now, back to the main topic at hand: how do you know your man is cheating?

a) He picks up an argument every time – nothing seems to please him. The main reason for this is because, he is looking for an opportunity to connect with his new, “connection with the classic line, I am so misunderstood aka she doesn’t understand me but you do”.

b) Erratic behavior

c) You come across condoms in his car, his wallet or you notice that there are missing condoms in the pack.

d) He suddenly becomes too nice. For example, if you have a miserly man and all of a sudden he starts buying you stuff like there is no tomorrow, he is doing that to assuage his guilt.

e) He doesn’t notice you in your sexy get up aka freakum dress.

f) He suddenly becomes experimental in the bedroom.

g) calls you by another woman’s name during that moment.

h) Spends all his spare time on the phone with a particular female friend.

i) Raises hypothetical questions like, “do you think it is possible to love more than one person at one time?”.

j) wants more sex

k) wants less sex or no sex

l) turns off his cell phone when he’s home or with you or goes outside to make his phone call.

m) charger problems/lost cell phone/lost charger – being the reason you can’t get a hold of him for days.

I will end by quoting an African man who states -”if he’s African,he’ll probably cheat” and if you are a virgin and you are dating an African man – he’s probably cheating.

By the way – men could we change the lines a bit, if I hear, I am so misunderstood one more time – I will literally scream. oh yes, emotional cheating is still cheating.

 

35 réflexions sur “ AFRICAN MEN WILL CHEAT by Pamela Stitch ”

  1. African men are charmers who cant keep it in their pants’ they are easy men…so easy to get into their pants….

  2. Looks like another African male bashing forum…. FIRST OF ALL NOT ALL AFRICANS CHEAT, Am an African Man and have NEVER cheated on my girl, i have NO CHILDREN and was raised with great values and culture just like MOST OF MY AFRICAN FAMILY & FRIENDS. I can understand Most of you are going through hurt and decided to google « African men cheating » and hence found a forum to launch unfounded attacks about our characters (as if you know all of us). Now my best friend is a white guy and i even have black american friends who cheat like no ones business with foreign women (because of culture) they are less likely to call their girls/ wife’s number and rat on them when they have a fight. So if you all think African men are such a problem, then go back to your perfect men am sure none of them have ever even heard of the word CHEATING.

    PS about having multiple wives and children…. none of this crap is true; the last generation to seriously practise polygamy that were our grandparents and now because of christianity and economic demads the practise is mostly dead in most african countries, besides how many american women have multiple babies with multiple fathers they have never met? So stop the judgement and stone throwing if your culture is also not perfect.

    1. Thanks a lot wise man I have been desperately expecting an answer from a man. Just like you I don’t believe in genetical attributes /race, as far as we know Clinton was not African, just to name one, neither was Kennedy, Mitterand & others. This site is not at all about male bashing… I believe in the universality of human nature even though some behaviors might be influenced by culture or so but As an African woman, I do love my African men dearly.

    2. WOW this makes me feel much better’ My husband is African and he tells me he has thought about cheating but hasnt done it because he says he doesnt want to hurt me…

    3. Wise fella……

      I am not sure where in Africa you come from but I can assure you that in « at least » Kenya and Nigeria (possibly Ghana and Ethiopia as well) that having multiple wives is still practiced, not as widely as it used to be but it is still there within certain tribes and or sub-tribes…….Let’s look at the Maasai people (Kenya) for example, they are still hanging on to thier customs and traditions as best as they can, which includes the having of multiple wives as long as they can afford it…..meaning paying the dowery/bride price such as in the form of livestock (cows or goats usually) etc. With that also come many children…….from the many wives….as last I heard birth control is not used among them. That is just one example……

      I will say that as the African people are becoming more educated through schooling (for those that can afford it) and all the HIV/AIDS awareness that the practice and customs of polygamy are waning but is still seen……usually among the wealthy. However that doesn’t mean that the african man won’t cheat. My father in law (for those reading who have followed my posts, yes I did marry my Kenyan…lol Story for another day) we have found out through out the last couple years that my husband has many half siblings of various ages from various women. He never married any of the women, they were just « girlfriends » or « flings » which I may add was to be accepted by his wife as she even took care of one of the children. Now before the bashing begins I will say that « some » of the woman are bad as well but with that being said…….they are not « allowed » have multiple husbands……go figure.

      You have to remember that in Africa there are tribes and then tribes within those tribes (sub-tribes)…….do we know all the culture, customs and traditions of each and every one (and there are a lot) or which are still practiced today? No, therefore to say that Africa as a whole or to « assume » that Africa as a whole does not practice polygamy still is absoutly insane. Maybe Wise-fella, in your tribe or area it is not practiced anymore but for others reading, thier men may not come from your area and is still practiced to some degree where they are from…..just a thought.

      I will say that as Africa becomes more modernized and educated we will see less and less of this happening over generations, however as of right now it does in fact still go on (not as much as it used to) and the children in « some » areas are still taught the traditions and customs of thier people to include polygamy. Now, wether they choose to practice it or hand the teaching down to the next generation is yet to be seen and entirely up to them. Who are we to say that they can’t follow thier beliefs, customs or traditions……the only problem with that is when they come here (to the US and other countries) and try to behave and carry on like that there will be issues and problems.

      Yes our American men cheat, however they know it is bad, not acceptable and if caught will have consequences. Where as it seems that for the African men that come here and carry on like that it is normal behavior for them and we as women should accept that as part of thier culture……or so they will try to tell you!

      Ladies, be up front with your African men and explain to them that polygamy or having multiple girlfriends is not acceptable behaivor and will have consequences. They are in fact very smart even though some will pretend not to be. They understand more than you think, don’t ever take them for idiots…..I can assure you they are not!!

      Good luck ladies, I wish you alll the best!!

      1. Taiee…..

        Nice to hear from you and glad to know that you married a fellow Kenyan. I have to say though, while i was reading your post, i wanted to jump out of my skin because i either disagreed or wanted to give you similarities that are practised here by « American » men and WOMEN who did not go sit in a class and have a Maasai educate them.

        First of all, to give me an example of a Maasai, is same as me giving you an example of Mormons in Utah who are also holding on to their culture, religion and practises which i can guarantee you, they DID NOT import from AFRICA since they believe blacks are devils and inferior. Oh an guess what.. BOTH groups supposedly believe the practise is OK and their women accept it. Secondly about your hubby and his never ending surfacing siblings, i think i can give you some examples like Dennis Rodmans father, Shaq’s biological father, and oh yes……and my black American colleague who told me he has close to 35 siblings, most of whom he has NEVER met and he himself has 12 children with different women some of whom don’t even know each other.

        About some African women not being allowed to do the same thing as some African men let me give you another example of my Italian American best friend whose motto is; you only say hi to his wife and keep walking otherwise he will go Mafia on you. She knows it and NEVER tests him, yet he is the worst serial cheat i know…yes worse than my other friend with 12 children from different women. And Yes the American latter day saints women are not known to have multiple hubbies either its just the MEN who have multiple wives.

        When i watch Maury show and i also look at some communites here, where women have 9 kids with 9 different fathers what does that say about the poor innocent American woman? Are we supposedly gonna look for a Maasai to blame for this too? At least the polygamist takes care of his business (wives and kids). As a man in America, you can’t even know for sure whether the child you are raising is yours or not, yet the same « innocent » woman would want you to be financially and emotionally responsible for her own actions.

        Lastly, Polygamy at this point is practised more widely in Muslim nations especially in the Middle East than it is in Africa. Many come here with same entitlements and do worse to women, but NO ONE EVER dares run their mouth about them coz they simply don’t take anyones crap.I would like to ask you to please google about the western women leaving their so called monogamous husbands and marrying Maasai men and others going into the so called polygamy settings willingly. I don’t believe its a one way crime it takes 2 or more to tango.

  3. I have tried having 3 serious relationships with diffrent African men, all three from totally different countries in Africa. I was determined to be anti-racist and helpful and loving, and giving each the benefiit of the doubt at first. Each one have told me that not all men are the same, yet all three fitted the profile supplied by Taiee.
    It seems that the whole of Africa has corruption very deeply rooted in the culture.

  4. I agree with most of the above, and what Taiee wrote about them seeming like sociopaths! I am convinced that the man from Zimbabwe that I dated was also a sociopath! He was a pathological liar and cheating, I finally ran into him with the other woman and that’s how I found out. There were weekends when he said he was going out of town and he was with the other woman. Later I realized that he was still with his ex-girlfriend when he had first asked me out! He also later confessed to cheating on previous girlfriends and sleeping with at least one married woman. BEWARE the African man! They are so charming, they know just what to say, and say what you want to hear! But it’s NOT true! Be sure to tell them you appreciate the words but they have to back up everything with ACTIONS and if they can’t prove their love & trustworthiness, ditch them!!!!

    Today I was asked out by a man from Nigeria. He was wearing a wedding ring!!!! I said NO, and he said, maybe you’re just uncomfortable with dating an African man? (I’m white.) I said NO, you are MARRIED!!! He said, But I’m happily married, my wife is pregnant with our first child! I said, I cannot believe we are having this conversation!! He said she doesn’t mind if I hang out with other women!! Of course she cares- he just doesn’t tell her!

    Beware of African men! They are slick charmers, but ultimately liars and cheaters!!!! Also, my ex from Zimbabwe said his father had cheated on his mother- so they do not have good role models and do not know how to treat women. They treat you like shit but manipulate your feelings to keep you around. I also highly encourage anyone involved in one of these relationships to read The New Codependent- so you can learn how to take care of yourself and break away!

    1. When a man cheat he’s doing that with another woman/man who is also cheating…they only advantage women have is that they’re better at keeping it tight.

      1. @ Black Dude, I can not speak for all women who cheat, I myself have never resulted to cheating and will split up with the man first before it ever comes to that, however I find myself in a situation with this one where we are in a lease together for several more months and if I catch him cheating one more time or even attempting to I will be forced happily into doing the same. Remember, that what one man won’t do for you, another will. If you are not giving your relationship the time and attention that it needs there is « ALWAYS » someone out there who will. And I agree that we as women are better at keeping stuff like that tight….why? Because we tend to think and plan ahead where as men generally live in the moment without thinking about consequences….want to keep it tight, then think like you are going to get caught. Come up with a believable lie (before you take your ass home) and have proof to back it up because my friend you will be asked for it…..seriously. And none of this…..I was working late or out of town…lol lol that lie is soooo easy to get caught in and over used that it isn’t even funny!!! Just saying….

      2. I just caught my wife of ten years…she was late coming home so I called to find out what is going on. She told me she had an emergency at her job and as the nurse for the shift she has to stay. I kinda believe first but still a bit suspicious because she sounded very calm as she was talking…I was expecting some stress but I let it sly.
        She came home say hello and went to take a shower. For some reason she came out and it so happen that I went to pee. I then saw her underwear in the bathtub and out of instinct I flip it around and goodness it was so wet with sperm!!

        I showed it to her and you can see the guilt. Ever since she avoid any contact, spend most of her time when am home in the room.

      3. I am so sorry to hear about your wife. You might want to see if she is up to seeing a therapist or even working it out. Sometimes when cheating is involved the relationship/marriage is past the « fixing » stage. Also you have to remember that there will « ALWAYS » be a trust issue now and it will drive you crazy in your head if nothing else. You will always question every time she is late etc. etc…..Not only will it drive you crazy but it can push her into the arms of others because she is being blammed for stuff she may not be doing. Keyshia Cole said it best in « I should have cheated » http://youtu.be/29qvbeDA0iU It is a good video and can be from either side of the tracks……

        The bottom line in your situation is, are you going to forgive and forget? You have to be willing to do both or it will eat at you which is not healthy for either person. Is it worth it? And how much time are you willing to put into fixing it….if at all. Remember even as a man, time is something you can’t get back…..none of us are getting any younger!!!!!

        Good luck to you….I wish you the best.

    2. @ whitegirl Yes, they tell you that they have to work out of to town or some such BS so that you won’t call them on the weekends….all the while they are home with thier wives or girlfriends. Mine used to tell all the women he was trying to cheat with that he was out of town working every weekend so I wouldn’t question him when some strange # or text came across his phone, and he actually told me that he was going to work out of town one weekend, however I know that he doesn’t go out of town for work (never has) and planned to call his bluff but he never did leave and i am assuming that where he was going to stay for the weekend fell through!!! Too bad!!

      They do tell you exactly what you want to hear and are very charming…..It’s almost something out of the 50’s-60’s and so dated what they say….I think they teach them that crap in school because all the African men I know and have met do it. None are sincere, it is all a plan to get what they want. Sad to say because most of those men are just cute as cute can be but beware….they have wives back home and most likely several children by several different women. Just because the passport says single doesn’t mean that they are. Mine had a wife back home in Kenya that his dad paid a bride price for (sold him off like a head of cattle because he was here in the USA….high price for that back in Africa I understand) and he was married to her in African customs but not by paper like we have here in the states. What he was supposed to do was get his citizenship here and go back and marry her by paper so he could bring her here to the states, and she in turn would send for her family. However, once I found out about her and her me, we talked and she actually released him from the marriage because she was tired of all the lies that family told.

      They are seemingly very sweet…..but it is all a show to get what they want. They are manipulative and cunning. Once they have you hooked they will treat you like crap and do just whatever they want, without a care in the world. They make promises they never intend to keep….the biggest one will be that they will take you back home to meet the family and show you around but they NEVER will. They also can not live without thier phones….hahaha try to take away the cell phone and it will be something else I assure you. It is like a life line to them.

      1. hahahaha’ so funny but true’ he to in Australia they do the same thing’ cute as hell sweet talk you, tell you what you want to hear and screw you over….it is all for self gain to get out of the hole in Africa………

  5. I dnt put up with disrespect of any kind from men, especially african men! Ladies if u listening especially my sistas please dnt allow disrespect from these scumbags! I can’t stand african men at all! They make me sick! They have no remorse when they hurt u, if anything they try 2 make it seem like u the problem. I hate african men with a passion! Beware they r not 2 b trusted!

    1. Waouw Deborah this is coming from the bottom of your heart… sorry for your experience. But no matter what I dont believe in affecting specific grieves to an entire nation. That guy was a scumbag indeed but there are plenty great African men out there. I have friends who have had similar experiences with frencH men, Soth American men , African american& even a Chinese man. We live & learn but that doesnt really give us the right to stigmatize a whole nation. xoxo

    2. @ Deborah J, Looks like someone hurt you really bad and now you are taking it out on all African men. Am an African man and honestly i had your kind of mentality 6years ago about Black american women (after being used for money and hurt really bad) and worse she didnt feel a thing when she was done with me. She told me she didnt even care and that really stung… I was soo mad and couldnt forgive no matter how hard i tried went to bed mad woke up mad and finally 2yrs later with lots and lots of prayer God gave me closure and forgave. Now its a distant memory…. i no longer generelize black american women as users and scammers coz it was just one bad seed that i came across; many are wonderful and beautiful people.

    3. Debroah Jones…..I so agree with you when you find out that they are cheating they will place blame on you and tell you that you are crazy…for a while you begin to believe that crap…..until you wake up to their bullshit and kick their azzes to the curb….(they have no remorse they take take take opportunists i say)….

  6. I understand that their r cheating men from all races,cultures& backgrounds, but i really want 2 emphasize that african men r the biggest,lying,cheating,coldhearted men on the face of the earth. They r very coldhearted toward women,especially black women. I’ve had my experience with them. Whether it was a friendship or relationship they r very selfish doggish coldhearted men. They r womanizes,manipulatorsand egotistics. My last bf was african,he was from ghuana & oh boy! Talkn bout a roller coaster relationship! It was a rough part of my life. N the begining he was kind 2 me but as time went on the true evil demon came out. Now that i think back on it the whole relationship was a lie! He is & was a lying cheater!. I could write a book!. But that chapter n my life is over. Jesus b the glory! Back then i was 23 turning 24. I had low self-esteem n my early 20s, thats y i allowed men 2 hurt me,especially african men. I am now 28,turned my life around & feel so much better about myself. I love & value myself now

    1. Deborah,
      I can understand and feel your pain and frustration. Trust me girl, they are not just coldhearted towards black women. I am a white woman and mine is just like that towards me. It’s like the more you love them, the more they think they can get away with shit and walk all over you. Mine is from Kenya and all the signs listed above he has done…..He has been caught as I even had one of the other women forward me text messages he sent, which he said were not from him, that he let some other guy use his phone….lol yeah whatever…. then she sent me a voice mail that he had left her…was deffinitly him…duhhhhh, however he still denied it like im some sort of mad person, idiot….which I guess I am as I am still with him (we have a lease together).

      However…….I have decided to fight fire with fire. We have this great thing in america called Craigs List and I have used it to my complete advantage. He was starting to see some female that worked at a bar and I blasted his business and hers out on front street. She dropped him like a hot potato and now he doesn’t even go into that bar anymore. Yes, he was pissed off but what can he do……I did not slander him as everything I wrote was true and I had proof of it all. Now he knows that if he steps out he will get busted time and time again, unless he gets a little smarter. See he thinks that he is so slick that he won’t get caught, so he doesn’t even have a lie prepared and when fronted comes up with some of the most stupid and unbelieveable lies……game knows game and who is the real idiot here???

      I on the other hand since have met a really awesome Jamaican man. I am not cheating as we are not on that level….yet. However I will when the time is right and leave the African in his own dust!!! Then we will see who has better game! The funny thing is he thinks I have an intrest in one of his womanizing married African friends…..NOPE, I have no attraction to the man what-so-ever and it’s his guilt from what he has done to me that makes him think that way!!

      I will say this, I will never date another African man even though some of them are just beautiful. They have way too much drama. They lie, cheat and for the most part are con-men. Usually they have wives back home and several children (by several women) They say sweet things and send these awesome sweet texts,(he wasn’t the only one I got those type of texts from, there were 2 others as well….I think they teach those boys that in high school….so dated!!) are borderline stalkers, act like there is no other in the world except you until they have you roped in then……POOF your done, no more sweet texts, doesn’t have the time of day for you, you are lucky to even get a response if you text him, treats you like shit…..on to the next for him……we are all conquests for them and nothing more! I know now that having hung out with him and his Kenyan friends that they all have the same issues with women. Is it something in their culture that makes them act that way? I don’t know and I am not going to find out.

      I have dated 2 Jamaicans that were really awesome guys, and even though you hear bad things about them as well I will stick to them, thank you very much. I have had nothing but good experiences with them. And the ones I have been with have never lied (not that I ever found out about), and avoid drama at all costs!

      There is a huge difference between, black americans, africans and jamaicans (I no longer date white guys, for presonal reasons)…….is one better than the other? You have to decide what is good for you and what you will put up with! I don’t have time for the games…..time is the one thing you can’t get back, so why waste it……you are never getting any younger!

      Good luck to you all. Fight fire with fire, because what I have found is while it is ok for them to cheat, they don’t deal well if they think you are….god forbid right!!

      1. As an after thought Deb is right that they are very manipulative and try to shift blame…..I have come to the conclusion they are sociopaths and blame shifters. See below. Mine has even stated that when he goes into a bar he searches for his « victim ». Mine is also an alcoholic and most of those stated below…..

        Glibness and Superficial Charm

        Manipulative and Conning
        They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

        Grandiose Sense of Self
        Feels entitled to certain things as « their right. »

        Pathological Lying
        Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

        Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
        A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

        Shallow Emotions
        When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

        Incapacity for Love

        Need for Stimulation
        Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

        Callousness/Lack of Empathy
        Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others’ feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

        Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
        Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

        Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
        Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet « gets by » by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

        Irresponsibility/Unreliability
        Not concerned about wrecking others’ lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

        Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
        Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

        Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
        Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

        Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
        Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

        Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
        Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
        Authoritarian
        Secretive
        Paranoid
        Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired.
        Conventional appearance
        Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
        Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim’s life
        Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim’s affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
        Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
        Incapable of real human attachment to another
        Unable to feel remorse or guilt
        Extreme narcissism and grandiose
        May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

  7. And this is why I have an open relationship with my african husband. He thinks he will be « traditional » and carry on relationships while I cook, clean and keep a tidy home for him. And stay available to him to have sex with when he’s ready? Bwahaha! I think not. Not unless I’m allowed to have affairs too.. And that’s just e’re doing. O

  8. I have dated African-American men, Jamaican men and am now currently dating an Afircan man, just not a year here in the states. We have been together 7 months. He said I was the one and that he left his crooked life behind in Kenya and is starting a new life here fresh.

    He asked me to marry him several months ago and that has yet to happen. He seemed nice and sweet in the begining, stating that communication is very important. He used to do nice and sweet things. All the things he had said are not true at all. He doesn’t communicate unless he is drunk, of which you can’t get a word in edgewise,

    Whenever we get into a small disagreement (I mean small) he ignores me for days, not speaking and not even looking at me, then acts like nothing ever happened.

    He claims his love for me and says I am the only one but then he is caught trying to sleep with the huge nasty neighbor. When caught he denies it and gives some lame excuse that he was trying to find out the breed of her dog so he could get me one and suprise me….HAH We can’t have dogs where we live and he knows this. I find strange purple sparkle lip gloss in his pocket that I have never seen before and claims that he brought it back from Africa and it was bought in a varity pack. When I check the internet you can’t even get that kind in any type of varity pack. Also he stated that the other flavor when asked was apple, however a month later when asked the same question he said strawberry…….Does he think I am an idiot?

    He has also started hiding his phone, erasing all calls and texts frequently and shuts it off every day when he comes home. Is he cheating????? I would assume so. If I did that to him it would be something else I can assure you. I have never had this type of problem with any man I have dated before. I truly believe he thinks this type of behavior is acceptable however there will come a day that he will reap what he sows………I promise that!!

    Is anyone else having the same issues with their African man? I do truly love him, however I feel that we are going no where fast…….

  9. In Ghana cheating by men is a way of life. It is especially pronounced among men of means. It is not tribal and happens without regards to one’s deeply held religious beliefs (Christian or Muslim). The excuse given to outsiders/ critics is that their culture allows for more than one wife. Yet these ‘extra’ women are not wives but ‘girlfriends’. With the economy being like it is, finding a young woman to support in exchange for being your girlfriend is an easy thing to do. I am told wives put up with it as long as it is discreet and the man continues to take care of his obligations at home (I’d like to hear from the wives on that one). But really, does it sound much different from men anywhere else?

  10. this is partly true ,not all men cheats,just because one has dated several men & they all cheated doesn’t mean all men .remember that every person represents themselves.just because one cannot keep their zip closed doesn’t mean all cant.i have dated women who lie & cheat but i cannot draw a conlusion that all women are the same.there are good people out there but they are just scarce.(scarce doesn’t mean none).

    1. OH Come on I just came from Pretioria…believe me African men can’t keep their zips closed or keep it in their pants…..This probably explains why the AIDS rate in Africa is so high its an epedemic…..

  11. Yes, al men cheat. Even in situations where a man has two or more wives he still cheats. He picks up quarrels over nothing, he stops taking care of the family, he complains about not having money or he has just borrowed money to take care of small problems in the house and things like that.
    When he starts paying attention at home or he starts being nice then definately he has a problem with the other woman he is dating. Trust me me i have gone thru that and it hurts like hell.

  12. You are completely right my african husband has cheated twice on me and keeps lieing and denying it when i already caught him

  13. All men cheat. As Chris RocK often said, a man is as honest as his options. The more options you have the less likely you will stay honest. To single out African men as cheats can be delusional and unfounded. A cheat has no color, tribe, ethnicity, etc. A cheat can be any of these and from any where.

    And when a man cheat it is often with another woman who may also be cheating somebody else. So what’s the noise all about here?

  14. Yes, it is true: African men cheat and they lie! They can sleep with 3-4 women at a time and still behave as if you are the only one he is seeing! Even when they are caught and you have proof of their infidelities, they will still deny it and make up all the stories in the world (She is a friend, she is the one pursuing me, I just wanted to buy something from her …hmmm I can only imagine what!) They feel no remorse for doing it and will even try to make you feel like you have lost it (since you are imagining the whole thing, you must have lost your mind, right?)

    The ironic thing is that they swear they are looking for a serious relationship and that special connection! They would not even see something special if it hit them in the face! Truth be told: They think they are God’s gift to women, therefore, they should share themselves with as many as possible…so giving and unselfish of them, don’t you think? I am about to vomit…

    I will no longer date African men! And if I am being called a racist for it: so be it! I much rather have some prejudice and be called a racist than a STD and be called a fool!

    For you out there who is considering dating and African man… Don’t! He will only break your heart!

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