A man’s view is quite valuable so Ladies read & learn!!! Thanks Jeje…
Nabou! So you finally went and did it after all your threats!! LOL!!
You have got the proverbial conundrum here and T.A.D. did a pretty good job dissecting it. I will merely give my view as a chap. Let me state first of all that I am a God fearing man, so that says what my real stance is. Regardless this does not stop me from being able to say what goes on in a man’s mind and what some guys do.
An unknown woman is always like a mystery that requires solving to a chap. Once you meet her once and she ‘flows’ with your packaging – shoes, smell, clothing, watch, car and even mobile phone (Lagos issue), you begin to think you have an opportunity here. She softens her voice when speaking to you and her body language is subtle or strong enough for you to think there might be a green light or at least an amber turning green. This is just a segment of the chase, but this is the opium that most men cannot live without as it is on the success or failure of this process that egos are built or shattered.
At this point the man would have seen if she fit into his ‘current spec’. This spec can change with the time of day as men can actually be very fickle, especially those with a track record of ‘success’ at this game.
Why do men do it? Because they can. They are wired to be attracted of course to the opposite sex. The question is now the moral barriers or discipline that the man has or has acquired. Many men brought up to appreciate women on an equal footing tend not to stray, while many do not have any kind of barriers at all. These guys are the ones who might have felt inadequate or ignored while growing up. They now blossom in adulthood and start to make up for what they feel is lost time. Both the undisciplined and the late bloomers will tend to acquire women and have babies outside or wife 2, 3, etc.
Then for those in marriages that stray, as distinct from the category just mentioned, many reasons can be adduced and T.A.D. did a very thorough job on this segment. I must re-emphasize though, that the worst thing any man wants to live with is a nagging wife. This is by far the worst situation as nagging, after some time, creates numbness, then makes the fellow want to stay away, so you find some men at the local pub or club until very odd hours as they want to get home while the wife is sleeping and slip out as early as possible. Nagging is way worse than bad sex since good communication can help bad sex.
Many women do not understand that men have fragile egos that require constant support. EVERY single heterosexual man wants to made to feel like the king in his own home. If this is not possible, he will gravitate in the direction of maximum comfort and support. This is the reason why many Efik / Ibibio (Calabar & area) women in Nigeria are accused as husband snatchers. They are taught how to make men feel like kings. A young friend of mine complained about how the husband of someone she knows fell for a Calabar woman. I simply said to her what I just wrote which she confirmed quickly. The Calabar woman has kids and is not as pretty as the man’s wife but she knew how to push his buttons!
Every woman needs to give her man hot chili soup in the form of good support and communication, excellent home care and amazing bedroom skills. Any man getting these ain’t going NOWHERE!!!