« Any man getting these ain’t going nowhere!!! » by Babatunde Jeje

A man’s view is quite valuable so Ladies read & learn!!! Thanks Jeje…

Nabou! So you finally went and did it after all your threats!! LOL!!

 You have got the proverbial conundrum here and T.A.D. did a pretty good job dissecting it. I will merely give my view as a chap. Let me state first of all that I am a God fearing man, so that says what my real stance is. Regardless this does not stop me from being able to say what goes on in a man’s mind and what some guys do.

 

An unknown woman is always like a mystery that requires solving to a chap. Once you meet her once and she ‘flows’ with your packaging – shoes, smell, clothing, watch, car and even mobile phone (Lagos issue), you begin to think you have an opportunity here. She softens her voice when speaking to you and her body language is subtle or strong enough for you to think there might be a green light or at least an amber turning green. This is just a segment of the chase, but this is the opium that most men cannot live without as it is on the success or failure of this process that egos are built or shattered.

 

At this point the man would have seen if she fit into his ‘current spec’. This spec can change with the time of day as men can actually be very fickle, especially those with a track record of ‘success’ at this game.

 

Why do men do it? Because they can. They are wired to be attracted of course to the opposite sex. The question is now the moral barriers or discipline that the man has or has acquired. Many men brought up to appreciate women on an equal footing tend not to stray, while many do not have any kind of barriers at all. These guys are the ones who might have felt inadequate or ignored while growing up. They now blossom in adulthood and start to make up for what they feel is lost time. Both the undisciplined and the late bloomers will tend to acquire women and have babies outside or wife 2, 3, etc.

 

Then for those in marriages that stray, as distinct from the category just mentioned, many reasons can be adduced and T.A.D. did a very thorough job on this segment. I must re-emphasize though, that the worst thing any man wants to live with is a nagging wife. This is by far the worst situation as nagging, after some time, creates numbness, then makes the fellow want to stay away, so you find some men at the local pub or club until very odd hours as they want to get home while the wife is sleeping and slip out as early as possible. Nagging is way worse than bad sex since good communication can help bad sex.

 

Many women do not understand that men have fragile egos that require constant support. EVERY single heterosexual man wants to made to feel like the king in his own home. If this is not possible, he will gravitate in the direction of maximum comfort and support. This is the reason why many Efik / Ibibio (Calabar & area) women in Nigeria are accused as husband snatchers. They are taught how to make men feel like kings. A young friend of mine complained about how the husband of someone she knows fell for a Calabar woman. I simply said to her what I just wrote which she confirmed quickly. The Calabar woman has kids and is not as pretty as the man’s wife but she knew how to push his buttons!

 

Every woman needs to give her man hot chili soup in the form of good support and communication, excellent home care and amazing bedroom skills. Any man getting these ain’t going NOWHERE!!!

6 réflexions sur “ « Any man getting these ain’t going nowhere!!! » by Babatunde Jeje ”

  1. BJ – I here your sentiments about the male ego. I believe that when in a relationship, both parties must treat the other as precious cargo, no ifs or buts about it – give 100% of your all! When you treat a woman like a princess, she will reciprocate and treat the guy like a prince or even a king.

    I think affairs boil down to the fact that men are easily tempted, they have fickle minds when it comes to having affairs, the grass is always greener. A woman will have an affair but not just on a wimp, with a man, its different, men are just wired that way. In saying that, there are men out there with high moral values and also the love they have for their partners so would not go looking and even when temptation comes their way, they walk away…now it takes a real man to do that, not many men can call themselves that…..there are a few women who are just as bad….

  2. …Un homme fidele n’existe pas! Combine de fois ai je entendu cette sacro sainte vérité, aussi vrai qu’un verset de la bible (peu importe). Dans nos sociétés, il est presque indécent de pleurer parce qu’on a été a trompé. On a fini par institutionnaliser l’infidélité masculine, ma propre mère me renverrait chez mon mari si je le quitte parce qu’il m’a trompé, ca ne se fait pas… et d’ailleurs si il l’a fait ce que j’ai dû le contrarier ou alors je ne suis plus à la hauteur !!! Cruelle société pour les femmes amoureuses et sensibles. En matière de trahison (parce que ce de ca qu’il s’agit), l’homme a presque toujours raison, il est toujours excusé. Je ne sais combien de fois je ne me suis brûlée pour lui mijoter son plat préféré, combien de régime j’ai fait pour ressembler à Naomie Campbell, combien d’argent j’ai dépensé en soins de visage, salon de coiffure, dans les magasins…juste pour être attractive à ses yeux, combien de fois j’ai ravalé ces mots acerbes juste pour qu’il ne soit pas embêter, combien de fois mes doigts m’ont fait mal tellement je lui avais massé le dos, je suis devenue sa manucure et sa pédicure, j’ai ri à ses blagues alors que c’était la 100eme fois que je les entendais, je suis devenue une pro du ménage, me suis droguée aux vitamines parce que je devais toujours être fraiche et dispo….est ce que ca l’a empêché d’aller voir ailleurs ???Non, non, non il m’a trompé, ca m’a blesse mais j’ai ravalé les insultes et les pleurs parce que on m’a appris que pour garder son homme…il fallait que je sois à la hauteur…j’ai traduit :si ton homme te trompe et que tu lui prends la tète et ben il partira…alors si je veux le garder je dois faire semblant ;faire comme si je n’avais rien vu, pas vu ce portable toujours en mode silence, pas vu ce sms qui arrive à 2 heures du matin, pas remarquer ce parfum féminin sur lui…parce qu’après tout il me trompe peut être mais c’est chez moi qu’il dort…
    Alors moi j’ai arrêté de me prendre la tète si il me trompe ce n’est pas de ma faute, c’est lui qui a un problème a régler avec lui-même…(ou sa mère, ca doit être freudien….)

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